UPJOKE

I Got A New Job Jokes

I got a new job!

It’s cleaning mirrors.
I can see myself doing this forever.

I got a new job circumcizing elephants

The pay isn't great but the tips are enormous

I got a new job! It's in a factory making plastic Draculas.

There are only two of us on the production line, so I have to make every second count.

I got a new job as a carpenter.

The boss told me I’m like lightening with a hammer. Thanks, I said, is it because I’m so fast? No, he said, it’s because you never hit the same spot twice.

I got a new job delivering pizzas.

Nobody really likes liver on pizza anyways.

I got a new job at a bakery.

I took the job because I kneaded the dough.

I got a new job at retail and spend eight hours a day being yelled at and criticized for things that aren't my fault.

I never thought my humiliation fetish would be good for my career.

So I got a new job as a postman.

Bad thing is I'm quite embarrassed by it so I told all my friends I'm a mail .

I got a new job at the owl sanctuary..

It’s night shifts but i hear it’s a real hoot

I got a new job at a quarry today, and the foreman was showing me around when

I saw this huge rock. I told him, "Wow! That's a really big rock!"
"Boulder." He says.
**"WOW!!!! THATS A REALLY MASSIVE ROCK,"** I say while puffing my chest out.

(OC) I got a new job at Minute Maid.

I'm working on the Punch line.

I got a new job today at Old MacDonald’s Farm

I’m going to be the CIEIO

I got a new job helping a one armed typist when she needs to do capital letters

It's shift work

I got a new job working in a cafeteria. I asked the guy I was serving if he wanted to eat in or takeaway and he told me to f*ck off!

I love working in the prison canteen!

I got a new job as a lumber jack this week. . .

The guy who interviewed me asked if I had, any experience?

I said I used to work out in the Sahara Forrest.

He said, "don't you mean the Sahara desert?"

well that's what they call it now, I said.

I got a new job today selling corn to pirates.

A buck an ear.
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