UPJOKE

I get no respect, I tell ya

The other day I tell the cabbie "To the hospital!"

So he backed over me.

I got my son a bow & arrow set for his birthday, what does he get me for mine? … a T-shirt with a bullseye on the back.

I get no respect.

Last week my house was on fire. The kids were screaming.

My wife told them, 'be quiet or you'll wake your father!'

I tell ya I get no respect.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I asked this beautiful young lady in the bar last night where she had been all my life

She looked me over, and replied "Well, for the first half of it, I hadn't been born yet".

Then I told her I really wanted to get into her pants, and she said "I don't know why, I already have one asshole in there".

I tell ya I get no respect, no respect at all

I told my son about the birds and the bees...

He told me about my wife and the mail man. I get no respect

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