UPJOKE

I Found A Way Jokes

I found a way to drive in the HOV lane while alone.

I told the cop I was carrying John Cena

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I found a way to take faster poops

Quick, grab the vacuum cleaner, I will explain on the way.

I found a way to make cured sausage halal for Muslims to eat.

I offered it to an Imam for testing. He takes a bite and says "Ah, Salami okay, yum!"

I found a way to solve the Gif vs Jif debate.

Just pray to Jod and Gesus for resolution.

I found a way to stop lasting only 10 seconds in bed!

I just told her to stop counting.

I found a way to increase the number of steps on my Fitbit

I wore it on the right hand

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I found a way to make my penis 10 inches long

Fold it in half

I found a way around the Chai niece sense or ship

[Not removed]

I found a way to save 27 million tons of paper per year

I signed up for e-mail receipts at CVS

I found a way to drastically lose weight while sleeping!

and the money from selling my organs isn't bad either.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A girl introduces her new boyfriend to her parents.

This is a German joke, but I think I found a way to translate it:

A girl wants to introduce her new boyfriend to her parents.
He knocks on the door and the parents together open the door and introduce themselves: "Hi, my name is Sarah and this is my husband Michael, nice to meet you!".
...

Two Blondes.

Blonde 1: I found a way of saving money.

Blonde 2: How?

Blonde 1: I run behind the bus to work everyday and save $1.50.

Blonde 2: Why don't you run behind a Taxi you would save $10.00.

My girlfriend wanted to visit another country, so I wrote an algorithm that crawls all the travel sites online...

She wanted to go to either Canada or Iran.

Canada, Canada's pretty close, I just ran Canada in about 2 minutes; I found a way that fit our budget.

And Iran, Iran's so far away, I just ran Iran all night and day; I couldn't get a way.

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