UPJOKE

I Feel Fine Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Haven't taken a dump in 4 days and I feel fine.

Then again, I could just be full of shit.

A pirate walked into a bar.

A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said : 'Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible.'
'What do you mean?' said the pirate, 'I feel fine.'

Bartender: 'What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before.'
Pirate: 'Well, we were in a battle and I g...

I'm not sure I believe all this stuff about genetically modified food being bad for you...

I feel fine and I just had a really tasty leg of salmon...

The blind date

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. After a few drinks he approaches the bartender, "Hey, maybe you can help me out. I've just got hit with horrible heart burn, gas and stomach cramps, but I can't leave to get anything because I'm supposed to meet my blind date here in 15 minutes and I don't w...

A guy walks into a pharmacy: "I have extreme headaches, my belly cramps, I feel like I'm about to vomit and my back hurts like something tears the muscles apart. Do you have something?"

Pharmacists: Nope, I feel fine!

Covid19 inappropriate playlist thread. Honestly, I'm surprised it not been done yet. I'll start....

REM It's the end of the world as we know it (and I feel fine)

It’s the end of the world as we know it

Because “I feel fine.”

A guy walks into a recovery room after donating blood.

A woman asks him how he feels.

Guy: I feel fine, but I doubt it would help someone.

Woman: why do you have to be so negative?

Guy: I can’t help it. It’s in my blood.

Dan went to his physician for his annual check-up.

However, he was shocked when his doctor said to him, “I’m afraid you’ve only got three weeks to live.”

“Are you sure?” said Dan, “I feel fine. Isn’t there anything that can be done?”

“Well,” said his doctor, “you could try taking a mud bath each day.”

“Will that cure me?” asked ...

I dont see anything wrong with GM foods.

I just had a nice leg of salmon and I feel fine.

An Italian goes into a noisy fish market

He goes up and down the aisles looking for a particular fish and can't find it.



In frustration, he then goes to counter and shouts over the noise "DOA YOU HAVE A HADDOCK"



"No I took to aspirin and now i feel fine"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes to the doctor about a lisp.

He says, “Doc I feel fine, it’th juth that I can’t thpeak clearly. I have thith lithp that I can’t theem to get rid of.”

The doctor replies, “Ok, let me have a look then.” and proceeds to examine the man. “Ahh, I see the problem here. Your penis is so long that it’s weight is pulling on your ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Pirate walked into a bar

A pirate walked into a bar and sat down for a drink.

The bartender asked, "Gee you look awful, are you feeling okay?"

"I feel fine, why do you ask?," said the pirate.

"Well your leg is half missing, you have a wooden peg leg!"

"Arrr that happened a few years back, cannonb...

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