UPJOKE
the dare game

I Dare You Jokes

I said “I love you” to my cake.

It burst into tiers.

Edit: rip my inbox!

Edit 2: so many awards but no gold? I dare you to gild me. Go ahead, make my day!

Edit 3: Guys I was being sarcastic and referencing the movie Sudden Impact (cries in being old). Whoever gilded me just wasted their coins but still, thanks...

I dare you to get neutered

You won’t, no balls

After an inspiring church service, the wealthiest man in town stood up to address the congregation.

"I can still recall the day when I earned my first dollar," he began.

"That same evening, I attended a church meeting where the speaker talked about his humanitarian efforts. At that moment, I had only that one dollar to my name, and I had to make a tough decision: give it to the speaker's ca...

Guy: "Truth or Dare?"

Gir: "Truth!"

Guy: "What's your phone number?"

Girl: "Eh.. let's do dare"

Guy: "I dare you to give me your phone number."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two men are in the forest

They stumble around wildly for a while, until they find a small pond.


"Hey, I dare you to take off your clothes and get in!" the first man says


"I dare you back." says the second.


So they both hung their clothes on the branch and got in, sitting across the pond...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There's a new helper on a construction site.

As he has very little experience, he is given to a mean old fitter. All day long the old fitter is, pick up the crap, bring me my wrench, and the kid gets fed up and said "what makes you so special, why you have to tell me what to do all the time?" The fitter says, "because I am smarter than you", "...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Tale of Two Whales

A guy and girl whale are swimming along, when the guy whale spots a ship on the horizon. He says to the girl whale, "Hey, I dare you to swim over to that boat and use your blowhole to flip it over." The girl whale swims over to the vessel and capsizes it in one go. She says to the guy whale, "That w...

Job application...

This is an actual job application someone submitted at a McDonald's fast food establishment.
Not sure if they hired him....

NAME - Greg Bulmash

DESIRED POSITION - Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here i...

Two brothers are sitting in cow paddock...

When one brother turn and says...

Brother 1: "yo bro, I dare you to crawl under that cow!"

Brother 2: "Ok I'll do it, but what's in it for me?"

Brother 1: "Ummm... A big pat on the back?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Superman and The Flash

Superman and the Flash were jogging around Central Park when they spot Wonder Woman sunbathing naked behind some bushes. Superman says to Flash "That is one fine piece of ass" The Flash says "you know Superman, with my super speed I bet I can screw her brains out and be gone before she suspects any...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sharon & Tracey are walking home from the pub one night.

Sharon & Tracey are walking home from the pub one night.

As they turn the corner, they come across a circus in the field over the road that has closed up for the night. One of the main attractions, a huge 12 foot tall bull elephant with a 6 foot long penis could clearly be seen quietly ea...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two monkeys were sitting in a tree

and a lion was sleeping below them. One monkey said to the other monkey "I dare you to go down there and fuck that lion in the ass."

The other monkey said o.k.

So he goes down the tree and fucks the lion in the ass.

When the lion realized what was happening, he shook the monke...

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