I Can't Sleep Jokes - 6 Hilarious I Can't Sleep Jokes

Dad, I can't sleep.

dad: "Why not?"

kid: "Do you see that monster under my bed?"

dad: [looks under bed] "OMG yes!"

kid: "Well, I drank the whole can!"

I couldn't figure out why I can't sleep all night...

And then it dawned on me.

I can't sleep on suspension.

Trust me - I've tried that once and almost fell out of the hammock.

I have a condition that makes me eat when I can't sleep

It's called insom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nia

I can't sleep in my bed anymore, my mind races thinking of all the stupid stuff I've done in the past.

Stupid memory foam...

This is for Robin Williams

A man goes to see a doctor. Doctor asks what seems to be the trouble. The man says, "Doc, I'm depressed. Simply, I can't sleep sometimes, I can't eat, I feel down and irritable most days. I just can't feel 'happy.'"

The Doctor says, "I've got the perfect fix for you. In town tonight is the g...

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