Basically, I'm vegan all the time. Except when I'm eating
So a woman is chasing down an ice cream truck...
... And the ice cream man stops and says, "What can I get for you, Ma'am?" She says "Nothing, just wanted to tell you I'm vegan."
What shouts " I'm vegan " ?
A Vegan.
Hi dad, I'm vegan
- Hi vegan, I'm... I cannot, it's too much! I can't tell this joke EVERY morning. I surrender, you're my kryptonite!
"Did you just say something?"
"Uhhh nope?"
"Really? I could swear you just asked me if I wanted a hotdog."
"No I didn't."
"Good, because I'm vegan."
"If I ever need to buy a cucumber and nothing else,
**I'll also buy lube so the cashier doesn't think I'm vegan."**
An airline employee makes the final boarding call for a flight.
After she finished the announcement, she spots a man running down the concourse towards the gate. He runs through the boarding area, hurdles a row of empty chairs, and stops at the podium, almost out of breath.
"You just made it!" she says. "Do you have your boarding pass?"
"Oh, thi...
[Long] I was working the register of a pharmacy when a woman came up to me asking for breath mints.
I pointed her to the candy aisle and told her they were about halfway down on the left.
She said that she'd been down there already, and that all of the mints had loads of sugar in them, and if she them they'd make her hyper and overly excited.
I had never heard of anyone getting too e...
The ice cream truck is going down the street
And a lady runs after it but it doesn't see her and keeps going. She keeps following until the driver sees her in his mirror. He stops and shes out of breath
Truck driver: “hey, sorry about that, I didn't see you, what can I get you? “
Out of breath she says “I just wanted to tell you...
"Now before we lower the casket, anyone want to say anything?"
"I'm vegan"
Some scientists believe the ability to create language was because we ate so much meat as primates.
That's why vegans can only say "i'm vegan".
The Ice Cream Truck
On a hot sunny day, the ice cream truck was driving slowly until the driver saw a woman chasing frantically down the sidewalk, screaming "Hey, Wait!"
He stops, parks and opens the window, with a smile.
"What'll it be lady?"
She tries to catch her breath, but she manages to tell ...
Crossfit died out
The other day n the train: Girl : *sneezes me: "Bless You!" Girl : I Have a Boyfriend
a few rows behind us: "I'm vegan"
An ice cream man is driving his truck on a hot summer day.
He glances in his rear-view mirror, and notices a man running behind the truck. The man looks sweaty and exhausted and it's clear that he's been chasing the truck for blocks, if not longer. The driver immediately pulls over. "I'm sorry I didn't see you!" he says to the man when he gets to the window...
Survivors of a plane crash in the middle of nowhere suddenly ran out of food
"Since we have no more food, the only option we have is cannibalism" one person said.
"But I'm vegan" said his friend.
"It's okay, the guy on the wheelchair is a vegetable"
A man comes to the infodesk in a mall
And says: "Sorry, I seem to have lost my son in the mall, can I make an announcement on your PA system?" "Oh, sure" The man leans towards the mike: "I'm vegan"
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
TEXAS SURVIVOR
Texas is trying to capitalize on the popularity of the show "Survivor" by hosting its own version.
Contestants will have to drive from Amarillo and visit checkpoints in the following cities, Lubbock - Dallas - Waco - Austin - Houston - Laredo - San Antonio - El Paso and finish back in Amari...
A man walks into a bar in Los Angeles, carrying a large wooden box
A man walks into a bar in Los Angeles, carrying a large wooden box.
The bartender is quite curious and asks the man what’s inside.
“I’ll show you if you get me a beer”, the man says.
The bartender accepts the deal and gets the guest a beer. He then opens the box and takes out a ...
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