My wife spoke to me while staring into her mirror, she said 'I'm old, getting fat and look like I haven't slept for a week, I need a compliment'
I said 'Your eyesight is perfect'
I was going to make a chemistry joke, but since I'm old to this sub...
... I don't have any Neons...
... and all the good ones Argon!
Growing up, I always wanted to be someone. Now that I'm old, I've realised
I should have been more specific.
Do you know why I don't eat at Chili's or Applebee's?
Because i'm old enough to microwave my own food...
I'm old fashioned when it comes to coffee. If someone offers me a hot cup of java, I say no thanks.
I'd much prefer a cup of C++.
"You know, honey, when i'm old and very ill, i don't want to live like a vegetable..
i don't want to depend on any machine or any other fluids that are supposed to keep me alive". As i said that to her, she looked at me dearly, then she went on to confiscate my phone, laptop and flushed down the toilet all the beer i had.
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