UPJOKE

I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink on days that start with letter T.

Tuesday, Thursday and Today.

I'm not an alcoholic.

Alcoholics go to meetings. I'm a drunk, I go to parties.

I'm not an alcoholic ...

Alcoholic's need a drink, but I already have one

I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink when it's a friend's birthday.

On a side note are you on Facebook?

I thought I might be an alcoholic, so I did some research. It turns out the first sign of alcoholism is denial...

So I guess I'm not an alcoholic.

I Came Home to my Find my Family Holding an Intervention

"Honey," my wife says, "we're worried about how much you've been drinking as of late. We believe you suffer from alcoholism." I peer down at my usual thirty-pack of beer I pick up every Friday after work. "Sweety, kids, I'm not an alcoholic," I express to my loved ones. "Alcoholics *need* alcohol. I...

All the forest animals are having a big car show..

..shining their rims, getting ready to put their cars on display for the forest folk to see. The bunny is hopping along half drunk and stumbles into the clearing.

"WHOAAHhh bear, that's a sweet lambo, how did you ever afford it?"

"Well bunny, i'm not an alcoholic like you" replies the...

I don't drink alcohol. I drink distilled spirits.

So I'm not an alcoholic. I'm spiritual.

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