UPJOKE

I'm Done Jokes

I'm done making Peter Pan jokes

They Never land

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm done, this is my last ever cum joke.

Premature or not, I've created millions of these and none of them stick.

I must be in the minority, but I always lick my knife when I'm done

None of the other surgeons seem to do it !

I'm done buying trash bags...

I always just end up throwing them away anyways

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm done with waiters in restaurants asking me how did i find the steak

I just look next to The potatoes and it's right fucking there

I'm done dating demons.

They're too possessive.

I'm done with banks

The have lost my interest

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm done. Guys, I'm fucking sick of this. I'm almost 20 and haven't been able to score a better job than a fucking cook at a local fast food joint.

What makes it worse is that I live in a small town, so business is pretty limited and where I work is the only place that'll hire high school graduates.

I'd get the hell out of this town if I could actually drive too, but I've failed every damn test I've ever taken.

I'm socially awkwa...

I'm done stealing. I took an oath today.

But I swear I will give it back.

I'm done with dating sites

I'm only dating pizza delivery guys because at least I know they have a car, a job and, pizza

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"I'm done with this shit."

He thought as he closed Reddit, locked his phone and stood up.

I'm done drinking for good...

Now I drink for Evil.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm done chasing people who aren't willing to do the same for me...

.. After today, the ice cream man can go fuck himself.

That's it, I'm done dating comedians...

I don't want to get lol'd into a false sense of security again.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I take a long time to wipe after I'm done with the bathroom...

You could say I'm pretty anal about it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I sexually identify as a microwave dinner

I'm done in five minutes and look nothing like the picture

Death: Jack! Your time is up. I'll take you now.

Jack: Not today please, I have a lot more to do.

Death: Oh no, you're the first on the list to die.

Jack: Alright, I'll finish what I'm doing first. Even better, I'll make you some coffee while you wait. And after I'm done, we can leave.

(Jack put sleeping pills in the coffee an...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Man Walks Into a Tattoo Shop Asking for $100 bill on penis

A man walks into a tattoo shop and asks to get $100 bill tattooed on his dick. The tattoo artist is surprised and intrigued by this request. "Uh, are you sure about this sir?"

"Yes, I'm sure and I'm willing to pay whatever."

"Ok. May I ask why this particular tattoo in this particul...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A horny lion and a horny mouse

agree to fuck each other.

The lion informs the mouse "I'm the king of the jungle with a reputation to uphold, therefore must do this in hiding and I must go first. " The mouse replies "You're so large, you'll fuck me to death, let me go first then when I'm done you can have your turn". The l...

One day, a cowboy rode into town.

He tied up his horse and entered a saloon. When he exited the saloon, he found his horse missing.

The cowboy shouted, "I'm going to go inside for another drink, and when I'm done, my horse better be returned. If not, I'll do what I did back in Texas."

The cowboy went back inside the ba...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A beautiful large-breasted woman walks into a tattoo parlor...

A beautiful large-breasted woman walks into a tattoo parlor and says she really wants a tattoo but she's short on cash, and asks if there is anything they can do to help her. The sleazy shop owner thinks it over for a moment and says, "How about this. You show me those big beautiful breasts and you ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.