UPJOKE

I'm All Ears Jokes

"It's a long tale" said the fox

"I'm all ears" said the elephant

A corn farmer asked his field "are you listening?"

To which the field responded "I'm all ears"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Billy arrived at his new job, the local garden center/general store.

Mr Howard said "Just watch how I interact with the customers, Billy, and follow my lead. We need to upsell."

"Ok," says Billy, "I'm all ears."

A man walks in and mills around the store for a while, then comes up to the counter with a packet of grass seeds.

Mr Howard engages the ...

Amazing Really

A man spills a new RNA virus on himself and immediately begins turning into corn. He rushes into the doctors office and says "help me doc, can you do something about it?!"

The doctor says, "I have a theory on what we can do".

The man says, "I'm all ears."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife always complains when I use her toothbrush

If somebody can tell me of a better way of getting shit stains off the back of the toilet bowl I'm all ears.


-Jimmy Carr

Anyone care to explain how some jokes can be corny?

I'm all ears.

Me: Do you want to hear the cruel things people are saying about you?

Elephant Man: I'm all ears.

Me: Yes, that's one of them.

If anyone knows how to correct cosmetic surgery that's gone horribly wrong?

I'm all ears.

I asked Dumbo what career options he would pursue, when the circus shut down, and if he would consider interesting opportunities

He said, "I don't know, but I'm all ears"

An even cornier joke

One stalk of corn said to the other stalk of corn, "Hey, can I tell you something?"

The other stalk of corn said, "I'm all ears."

So my friend asked if I wanted to hear a corny joke...

So I said, "I'm all ears!"

One day a man got a flat tire...

... right in front of an insane asylum. "Dagnabbit!" he cursed as he pulled a jack and a tire iron from his trunk. Just then he noticed a man in a white hospital gown staring at him from up on a hill behind the wrought iron bars.

The driver set about his task. He popped the hubcap off, loose...

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