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Humper Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A QUEEN and a famous porn star died on the same day

when they fronted up to St Peter he told them there was only one space left for that day, and they’d have to argue their respective cases.The horizontal humper ripped off her top and said, “These are the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I’m sure it will please him greatly to be able to gaz...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three dogs are waiting at the vet....

The first dog turns to the second dog and says, "What are you here for?" The second dog says, "Oh I'm a chewer. I chew on everything. Anything I can find I chew up completely." The first dog says, "Oh man you are getting neutered." The second dog says, "Oh no! This is terrible." Then says to the fir...

Whoever coined the phrase "tailgater" missed a golden opportunity...

They should have called them a "bumper humper".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you enjoy your ride?

A loving grandfather always made a special effort to spend time with his 5 year old granddaughter on the weekends. Every Saturday morning he would take her for a drive in his car for some quality time --ice cream, pancakes, the park, the zoo-- just him and her.

One Saturday, however, he had ...

What do you call a camel in a drought?

A dry humper!

One rainy afternoon

One afternoon, as the rain slowly pours down on the roof, a young wife woke up from a relaxing nap, as she lays down and contemplates, she felts a sudden urge. The young wife moved towards her sleeping husband, leans against his body and gently whispered to his ear “It’s soaking wet, wake up and put...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 Dogs are sitting in a Vet's office...

3 dogs are in the waiting room at a Vet's office.

One dog asks another, "what are you here for?"

The dog replies, "I'm a chewer. I chew furniture, I chew the kids toys, I chew my own ass. So they're gonna put me on Doggy Prozac"

He asks the first dog, "what are you here for?"...

My favorite Jewish joke in the history of the world.

A young American computer expert read some books on the early Zionists who came to Israel and worked hard just to develop a bit of farm land. They gave of their sweat and toil so that there should be a fertile country for us. He was impressed with their unselfish toil and decided to immigrate to Isr...

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