UPJOKE

How To Write Jokes

I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500 in Roman numerals

I M LIVID

Pirate Ship Captain: Can someone tell me how to write the number 2 in Roman numerals?

Crew: I I captain.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How to Write a Paper

1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair, in a well lit place, with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.

2. Check your email.

3. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand.

4. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some coffee to help you conce...

How to write a amy schumer comedy special

Step 1. Say a long rant about a part of genatalia
Step 2. Repeat step 1 for a hour and 30 minutes

I asked these people how to write 509 in Roman numerals but they won't tell me

What a bunch of DIX

I forgot how to write concise statements

It's a real pithy

How to Write Hallelujah

You pick a phrase, you pick a rhyme, repeat the sound another time,

Five iambs, then an extra beat will do ya.

Another rhyme, a rising note - congratulations, you just wrote

Another goddamn verse to Hallelujah!

How to write for Buzzfeed:

1) Go to Reddit

2) CTRL+C

3) CTRL+V

Homie: Do you know how to write "s" in morse code?

Me: ...

How to write 4 in between 5?

F(IV)E

Anyone know how to write an original joke that doesn't rely on an overused punchline?

Asking for a friend.

As a volunteer, I taught a seminar on how to write persuasive speeches at my local prison.

I titled the course: "Prose and Cons".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A 3rd grade teacher...

Prepares her 9 year olds for a writing class.

Teacher: “class we will be learning how to write without lifting your pencil off the paper!”

Little Johnny: “I know how to do that!”

Teacher: “You know how to write without lifting off the page!”

Little Johnny : “Yes ma’am t...

My father is my favorite redditor.

When I was a young boy, not long ago, I came to my father to show him a school essay that I wrote.

-Dad ! I talked about you in my essay.

-What did you say ?

-I said that you were kind, charismatic, handsome, intelligent, respected by all your peers... And that you were my fa...

In limerick's a neat way to write...

In limerick's a neat way to write.


One can enjoy it most all day and night.


It's easy and fun,


a few lines and you're done.


I hope I can learn how to write one some day.

A boy comes home from school

A boy comes home from school and his mother asks him what he has done at school today. I have learned how to write, the boy says. Very well! His mother replies. What did you write? I don’t know, I haven’t learned how to read yet!

A Joke from Hong Kong

Recently the Hong Kong Government has announced that all police will have to travel in groups of three:

One cop knows how to read,

The second knows how to write

And the third is to keep an eye on the two intellectuals.

Julius Ceasar time travelled to today.

He was full of questions, but I was rather busy so I showed him a few things. and I showed him how he can look things up, and translate on the internet. After about an hour I hear "Wow" so I asked "what's going on" he said "I was trying to figure out how to write 30, and I didn't expect to see that"

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