UPJOKE

How To Say Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A lady approaches a priest and shyly tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots but, they only know how to say one thing... they keep saying 'Hi, we’re hot... do you want to *fuck us*?'"

"That's terrible!" says the priest. "But, I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two parrots over to my house tomorrow. I will put them with my two male talking parrots... to whom I've taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will then teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible filt...

I once asked Mario how to say ‘friend’ in french

He quickly answered: ‘it’s ami’

My Russian wife wouldn't even teach me how to say hello in her language

She says it's private.

Someone just asked me how to say no without speaking

Smh

How to say surprise in different languages:

French: Surprise

Spanish: Sorpresa

Swedish: Överraskning

German: BLITZKRIEG

Don't you know how to say orchard in polish?

It's sad

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How to say "hi" in other countries

France has "bonjour."

Japan has "konichiwa."

Germany has "guten tag."

England has "fuck off, yank."

China has "nihao."

How to say no to your wife?

Sorry guys, wife called. Have to go.

I don’t know how to say this, but

can you pass the Worcestershire sauce?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I asked my French teach how to say “I am tired.”

She just called me fat and gay.

How to say goodbye in German.

How to say goodbye in German.

See ya lader, hosen!

Today I learned how to say “no” in Australian.

ou

I wanted to learn how to say impossible in French

Turns out it's impossible.

Husband: Sweetheart, I have something to tell you, I just don't know how to say it...

Wife: Just go on, say it...

Husband: Worcestershire

Some jabroni just asked “how to say something offensive in Jewish?”

I told him “Jewish isn’t a language, yiddouche”

[OC] My friend recently taught his dog how to say "I love you"

I'm still trying to teach my dad.

How many times do I have to tell you how to say eleven in Spanish??

Once.

Dont know how to say the word GIF?

Just prounounce the G how its pronounced in gigantic

Listen guys, r/jokes is a wonderful community. I really appreciate you and the joy and laughter you have brought me. But I don’t know how to say this...

“Charcuterie“

I asked a friend whether he knew how to say "farewell" in French.

He replied, "Adieu"

A priest visits his cousin, who is also a priest.

The two priests, both in their forties, sit down to dinner.

The visiting priest says, "Cousin, I couldn't help noticing that your housekeeper is quite a young and attractive woman. I take it relations between the two of you are not always completely platonic?"

"How dare you! I am a man...

A math teacher welcomed a new French exchange student into her class and then started teaching a lesson on fractions.

The French exchange student raised his hand and said, "Excuse me Madam, but I don't know how to say fractions. How do you say those?"

"Easy," said the teacher, "you just say the top number and then the bottom number is read as an ordinal number. For example, 2/3 is 'two-thirds', 3/4 is 'three...

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