UPJOKE

How Does A Jokes

How does a woman scare their gynecologist?

By becoming a ventriloquist.

How does a redhead shave their pubic hair?

Very gingerly.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How does a member of the U.S. military show their gratitude to the prostitute they just visited?

Thank you for your cervix.

How does a mathematician chop down a tree?

Axe-iomatically

How does a barber cut the moons hair?

Eclipse it!

How does a nucleus relax?

It goes fission’

How does a penny look under a microscope?

Magnificent.

How does a narcissist change a light bulb?

They hold it up to the light and wait for the world to revolve around them

How does a fence maker know his schedule?

They keep it posted

How does a biblical man say that he is smart?

I Noah lot.

How does a non-binary samurai kill people?

They / them.




>!read as “they slash them”!<

How does a cannibal get their food at a restaurant?

They order ahead.

How does a Reaver clean its spear?

He runs it through the Wash

How does a DNA molecule moisten a stamp?

Helix it.

How does a hamburger introduce his wife???

Meat patty...

How does a lawyer get rid of their cancer?

They write a cease and de-cyst.

How does a woman hold her liquor?

By the ears...

How does a cat like its steak cooked?

Medium RAWR!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How does a boomer do the hokie pokie?

The first line is normal, but they get real pissy once everyone starts singing about hand outs

How does a Canadian spell Canada?

C-eh?-N-eh?-D-eh?

How does a prisoner make a call?

He uses a cell phone...

How does a network analyist identify them self at work?

LANyard

How does a deaf gynecologist communicate at work?

He reads lips

How does a cannibal defend himself in court?

He says: “If you are what you eat, then I am an innocent man.”

How does a rock pee?

Dwayne's his Johnson

How does a baker in Alabama describe his occupation?

“I’m in bread.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How does a raccoon become a red panda?

By getting hit by a car

How does a transphobe get down hill?

Walking.


JK, rolling

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