UPJOKE

Hope Your Jokes

I hope your internet is kinky

Because it's about to get choked

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I hope your butt has a license

Because just looking at it is driving me nuts

The trip to ... hell?

To celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary, John and his wife are planning a trip to Mexico. Everything should be perfect. John leaves a few days earlier to get everything ready.

At night he writes an email to his wife, but enters a wrong address and the message ends up at the widow o...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was this Wal-Mart greeter ...and everyday he was cheerful, happily greeting customers with a "Welcome to Walmart; I hope your day is wonderful!" or an "Enjoy your shopping!"

One day a loud, boisterous, unkempt woman comes in with her two children, who are running around and causing havoc as she yells at them. The old man greets her in his usual cordial manner, and she snaps back a rude reply to him.

Smiling, the old man looks at the lady and says, "What wonderful...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

On Christmas afternoon, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room.

She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."

The mother went nuts and told her son, "W...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Xi Jinping woke up one morning...

Xi Jinping woke up one morning and went to his balcony, where the Sun was rising in the east. The Sun greeted him: “Good morning, comrade Xi!” the Sun said, “I hope you slept well.”

Xi was extremely pleased with himself that the Sun spoke to HIM. After his meetings, at noon, Xi went for a w...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.