UPJOKE

Hoe Jokes

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What's the difference between a hoe and a prostitute?

One is a tool. The other is your mom.

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How many dead hoes does it take to change a light bulb?

Definitely more than three because it's still dark as hell in my basement.

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Who is the biggest digital hoe?

Mrs. Pac-Man because for ¢25, she’ll swallow balls until she dies.

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What's the difference between a bitch and a hoe?

The hoe fucks everyone at the party. The bitch fuck everyone but you.

My girlfriend told me there is no way you can turn a hoe into a housewife

I said "Yes you can". She said "How"?

I proposed.

Personally, I don't believe in bros before hoes, or hoes before bros.

There needs to be a balance.
A homie-hoe-stasis, if you will.

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Who's the biggest hoe in history?

Mrs. Pacman. For 25 cents, that bitch swallowed balls till she died.

If minecraft taught me one thing...

It's to never spend diamonds on a hoe.

What do you call a hoe from Idaho?

A tater thot.

Bros v. Hoes

A woman doesn't come home one night. The next day she tells her husband that she had slept over at a girlfriend's house.
The husband calls his wife's 10 best friends. None of them know anything about it.

A man doesn’t come home one night. The next day he tells his wife that he had slept ...

Ida hoes =

Tater thots

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Ms. Pac Man is the biggest hoe in history

For 25 cents she swallows until she fucking dies.

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What do pirates call prostitutes

Land-Hoe!

Hoe much does a chimney cost?

It's on the house

Why is chicken a hoe?

Because chicken strips.

Garden-variety hoe...

still sounds like a terrible insult despite clearly specifying which kind of hoe is meant.

What has four legs and says "hoe de doe, hoe de doe"?

Two black guys trying to catch an elevator.

This is Hoe We Role

*when normal people talk...*
**hey bro how's your family doing?**
*when gamers talk*...
**How's your tank? Which level? And yeah what happened to that MC world?**

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An Hammer had sex with an Hoe.

They named their baby Homer

Her: “Denounce all your hoes!”

Him: “All my Hoes, stand back and stand by...!”

If a sailor calls a woman in the ocean a Mermaid, what does he call a woman on land?

Land Hoe!

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A trick joke to bitch slap somebody [long joke]

For a friend you want to bitch slap or anybody for this matter. Front hand or backhand, it's your preference. You tell them if they want to hear a joke or if they have yet to hear it, the joke about a pimp and his THREE hoes. So it goes like this:

So their was a pimp walking down a block that...

Why did the pimp call a meeting of his hoes when he felt unsure about himself?

# He had to gather his thots.

What kinda hoes help you tend to your garden?

Helpful hoes.

Some say bros before hoes...

While some say bros before hoes, and some say hoes before bros, I believe there should be a balance; a homie-hoe-stasis if you will.

*this isn’t my joke but I was thinking of it today so I thought I’d share*

My girlfriend lives in Portland, she’s my Maine hoe

But I got a girl in Boise who’s my Sidaho

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I got so many bitches and so many hoes.

Then again, it's unsurprising considering I'm a farmer.

What did America say to a hoe?

Ohio

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What does a pimp with three hoes say to them on Christmas morning?

"BITCHES, get back to work!"

Hoe much do pirates charge for corn?

About a buck an ear.

There is a scar on my dad's foot from when he was younger and stood on a hoe

And then she stabbed him in the foot.

What does an English pimp do, after having tea and crumpets?

Tally Hoes.

What do you call a hoe that you use to stir a fire.

An ash hoe.

What’s the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods?

Santa stops after three Hoes

Why did Santa get Herpes?

Too many hoe, hoe, hoes.

What do you call a bunch of hoes on the subway

A train of thot

Based on a true story: I was carrying back gardening tools to the shed and dropped one. My wife yells from behind me.

"Yee haw, it's a hoe down"

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My local garden center has become like really sketchy neighborhood.

It's filled with rakes, hoes, and there's bird shit everywhere.

What do a serial killer and a prolific gardener have in common?

Both of their sheds are filled with hoes.

What does a pimp exclaim while counting his money?

Tally-hoes!

What does santa say to naughty adults?

Hoe hoe hoe

What did Santa say after seeing my Grandma, Mom and Sister?

Hoe Hoe Hoe

How do you say that a rumor about a guy being a real ladies' man is not true?

No way, hoes say

So, I asked my German grandfather hoe racist he was, scale of 1 to 10

He said "NEIN!"

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