I don’t believe in bros before hoes or hoes before bros. There just needs to be balance.

I call it a homie-hoe-stasis.

Why did the pimp put his hoe in charge of his money?

It’s the thot that counts.

If Minecraft has ever taught us anything...

It’s that you shouldn’t spend diamonds on hoes

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I asked a pimp how to get started in the pimping business. He said I need to get me a bitch , a hoe and a thot. The bitch handles all the hookers. She’s like the mom of the house. The hoe handles day to day affairs . Who does accounting? I asked

He said, It’s the thot that counts

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I'm a slut for water. In other words you could call me...

a H₂hoe

What is true in both Minecraft and real life.

Never waste diamonds on a hoe.

How do you compliment an insta-hoe when she asks you what you think of her latest post?

Tell her she put a lot of thot into it.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

If having sex for money makes you a hoe...

Does having sex for free make you a nonprofit whore-ganization

What does a warlock farmer rap about?

Witches and hoes.

What do you call a hoe with no legs?

An incomplete thot.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Who’s the biggest hoe in history?

Ms. Pac-man, because for 25 cents she swallows balls until she dies.

Never underestimate a hoe's ability to do arithmetic.

Because its the thot that counts.

How do you know if your girl is a hoe?

If all she is good for is slinging dirt.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

If a girl sleeps with many guys it makes her a hoe

If i do it makes me gay WTF

My girlfriend told me there is no way you can turn a hoe into a housewife

I said "Yes you can". She said "How"?

I proposed.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Who's the biggest hoe in history?

Mrs. Pacman. For 25 cents, that bitch swallowed balls till she died.

What's the difference between a pirate and a pimp?

It's all about how you say "Yo Hoe"

I called my wife a hoe...

Hey, she's good at gardening.

What does Santa say to bad girls?

Hoe hoe hoe

What does a Pirate say when they see a hooker?

Land Hoe!

What do you call a hoe that you use to stir a fire.

An ash hoe.

What did Santa say when he caught his wife in bed with another guy?

Hoe hoe hoe!

What did the dwarf pimp say to his working girl?

Hi hoe, hi hoe. It's off to work you go!

A man walked into a hardware store and asked "how much is that thot".

"What?" asks the clerk.

The man pointed to the garden tools. "That hoe over there."

(My grandpa who passed away last year, famous joke) Why should you always keep your tools out of the rain?

Because nobody likes a rusty hoe

What has four legs and says "hoe de doe, hoe de doe"?

Two black guys trying to catch an elevator.

What do a gang member and a redneck have in common?

They both know how to throw a good hoe down.

Personally, I don't believe in bros before hoes, or hoes before bros. There needs to be a balance.

A homie-hoe-stasis, if you will.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A pimp is breaking in his new bitch.

Pimp: Listen. If you wanna be my woman, your gonna have to make me some money.

Hoe: But I've never done anything like this before.

Pimp: Don't worry. You go and put on your sexiest dress and stand under that lamppost. I'll be back here. Any problems. Just come back and tell me, and and...

What kind of water do hookers drink?

Hoe-ly water

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

[NSFW] So a man is eating a $10 hooker's ass...

He's spreading her cheeks and eating her ass and sees something jump between the asscheeks:

Surprised, he says: "Hey! Hey! Are those crabs?"
And the hoe says "Well for ten bucks you really thought you'd get lobster?"

What do pimps and farmers have in common?

They both need a hoe to stay in business.

Why did Santa Clause divorce Mrs.Clause?

Cause she was a Hoe Hoe Hoe.

What do you call a prostitute you pay with pizza?

A Donin-hoe

A good man is hard to find

Because he's hiding from a hoe like you

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

After a date at the bars, a girl invites her date home...

Once home, she decides to try to lighten the mood and send some signals.

She also remembers him mentioning that he likes jokes so she asks, "How is a warm cabin, a short gangster and a horny girl the same yet different?"

*Her date shrugs*

"One's a little homey, the other's a l...

Can a man who sleeps with a prostitute be called a farmer?

Because he uses a hoe to plant his seeds?

You know the saying "bros before hoes"?

Well, I've found out how I can balance my relationships between the two evenly...


...a homie-hoe-stasis, if you will

What Did The Male Mantis Say To The Female Mantis?

Male Mantis: “Yo, hoe, I want some head.”

Female Mantis: “Me too.”

Male Mantis: “what”

What do you call a cake that was made by a prostitute?


Why do pervs go to idaho

To eye da hoe

Why did the farmer’s wife file for divorce?

She came home to see him plowing with a hoe.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What do you call a woman who keeps track of the men she's fucked?


What did Santa Claus say when he heard Mrs Claus had been cheating on him?

Hoe hoe hoe

What did the seven dwarfs sing about Snow White after she hit her first line of cocaine?

High HOE!!!!

Why does Santa have three gardens?

Q: Why does Santa have three gardens?

A: So he can "hoe, hoe, hoe."

Do you want to know why I called your girlfriend a tractor?

Because she's an upgrade to that hoe you had earlier.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

what do you call a slutty french fry?

a potat-hoe

2012 Creepypasta joke

Is the female version of The Rake called The Hoe?

Does the dead hooker in my shed...

...count as a garden hoe?

What do you call a cheap hooker at a concentration camp?

A Hoe Low Cost

New movie about a male prostitute

Hoe Malone

I have a gardening tool that I use to dig up large amounts of treasure

So yeah, I got a big booty hoe

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What did Blackbeard say to the girl who was dressed as a sexy pirate for Halloween?

"Land Hoe!"

My wife would always nag me to do the gardening..

Eventually I had to put that hoe in the ground.

I'm jealous of Santa...

...he can yell "hoe hoe hoe" at anyone and get away with it.

Xmas Joke Help

Hi All,

So December 1st is upon us (in Australia at least) and that means that it is time for me to begin my annual tradition of posting daily status updates on facebook with terrible xmas jokes until xmas. An advent calendar of xmas cracker jokes if you will.

Anyway this is my third o...