UPJOKE

Hey Bro Jokes

Dude 1: “Hey bro?” Dude 2: “Yeah bro?” Dude 1: “Can you hand me that pamphlet?”

Dude 2: "brochure"

Me:Hey bro someone said you sound like an Owl

Bro: Who?

Me: Exactly

"Hey bro, nice soul patch!"

\- "Thanks!"

\- "No problem; my girlfriend has the same thing, just not on her face."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

8 years ago today, I shared the worst joke I ever created. I reposted it 4 years ago. Here it is again for those that missed it.

There are two identical twin brothers that live together. One happens to be a well-respected dentist, and the other can't seem to keep a job. Instead of actively looking for work, he likes to sit around at home. One Saturday, the dentist is hungry, and puts his brother on the spot. He tells him to g...

"Hey bro, so I just got diagnosed with a dairy allergy."

"No whey, man."

*opens your fridge and sees 2% milk*

Hey bro, you should charge your milk.

what did the two Egyptian dude say when they had the same fart sound?

Hey bro we have a Tutankhamen!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Aussie walks up to a kiwi

Aussie: Hey bro, is that your dog?

Kiwi: Yeah.

Aussie: Mind if I talk to it?

Kiwi: Uhh, yeah chur, but dogs dont talk.

Aussie: Hey dog, how ya doing?

Dog: yeah good thanks mate.

The kiwi looks shocked.

Aussie: Is that your owner?

Dog: Yeah.
...

Two bros were chatting it up at the gym between sets.

1: hey bro, you won’t believe it.
2: what, bro?
1: someone stole all my protein powder
2: no whey!

What did the Geodude say to his fellow Geodude when they were going to breed?

Hey bro, I’m rock hard.

"You gotta prepare me for stuff like that!"

A man goes out of town on business, and asks his good friend if he can house sit for him whiles he's gone. The friend agrees, and a week later, the man shows back up at his home.

"Hey bro!" the man says as he opens his front door. "How did it go while I was gone? Everything go ok?"

"Yo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Jew walks into a New Zealand bar

The bartender says, "Hey bro."

The Jew replies, "How did you know?"

What did the Rabbi from New Zealand say?

Hey Bro

(Read in your best Kiwi accent)

A little boy heard about Jesus Christ on tv...

he wanted to know more about who was jesus so he went to this dad "hey dad who's jesus christ?" dad answered "not now son im busy with work, ask ur mom" so the boy went to his mom and asked "mom who's jesus christ?" ,mom answered "baby im washing the dishes right now, ask ur sister" so the boy went ...

() So me and a couple of my friends agreed to a

And we went at it for forty five minutes, slapping cheeks, swearing, sweating but then I stop and I ask him, “Hey bro, when is she getting here?”

I was at my school disco..

Walking across the hall to get a drink. One of my classmates came up to me and said ‘dude, your shoes are on smoking hot!’

I gave them a smile and kept walking to get a drink. Another classmate then approached me and said ‘hey bro, you’re on fire tonight!’

I gave them a wink and some ...

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The boy with the wooden eye.

There was a poor kid in Highschool who only had one eye. He couldn't afford a glass eye so he had one made out of wood. The wooden eye looked terrible and he was very self-conscious about it.

Despite his appearance he always tried to score a date with the hottest girls in school. One day in ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnny and his family are preparing for Christmas dinner.

Johnny goes upstairs to his brothers room while he’s playing video games. His brother gets a kill and yells “Yeah, eat that !”
Little Johnny asks, “Hey bro, what does that word mean?”
His brother looks around hurriedly and replies “It means uh...a lovely lady.”

Little Johnny goe...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two twins are in the womb...

First twin: -"Hey bro, I'm growing this goatee, do you think it makes me look older?"

Second Twin: --"Oh definitely!"

-"Really? Are you with me?"

--"Seriously bro, if I didn't know you, I'd say you look at least zero."

-"Bah, you're with me, do I look like...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The lizard and the koala.

A lizard is wandering through the Australian outback one afternoon when he spots a Koala sitting in a tree.

"OI!" he calls out to the Koala, "What are you doin' up there?"

The koala looks down at the lizard, "Oh hey bro, I was just about to smoke a spliff. You can join me if you want."...
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