UPJOKE

Hello My Name Is Jokes

Hello my name is lettuce, and I was going to the grocery store...

Ah, I’m getting ahead of myself

Vladimir Putin visits a primary school one day

And he gives a lecture about how great the government is, and how Russia is the best country in the world.
At the end of the lecture he invites people to ask questions and one kid stands up and says
“Hello my name is Sasha and I have two questions”
Putin: “go ahead”
Sasha: “Why did Russi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man and a women meet

She says hey my name is Sheila.

He says hello my name is Michael but you can call me Dick.

She say how do you get Dick out of Michael?

He says just ask nicely!

A guy walks into a bar with three ducks

The bartender says "sir you can't bring those ducks in here" the man says "but you don't understand these are talking ducks and are very rare" the bartender doesn't believe him so the man bets him a free drink that he can prove it, the man says he will go to the bathroom and the bartender can speak ...

2 Mexicans with the same name walk into a bar

One says hello my name is ____

Two says oh cool my name is also ____

One replys "oh, i guess I'm not the only Juan"

I hate put labels on people

That's why I didn't pass the job interview at the "Hello my name is" sticker factory.

A Polish joke

A Polish man named Wojciech was fed up with being called a dumb Polack by every one he met. So one day he decided to pretend to be German. Wearing Liederhosen, knee socks and a feathered cap, he walked into a shop and told the man behind the counter:

"Hello my name is Rolf and I would like to...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My dad had a college teacher that told the same joke every day...

At the start of every day he would say (in a heavy af accent), "hello my name is Mr Habawidishco and I'm from turkey........ BUT I AM NOT ONE" then he would just die of laughter.. Every fucking day lmao

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Man goes to buy a house

a man goes to buy a house, and he found one very good looking one. it was near the beach, it was big and it was cheap. So the man goes to see the house with the seller. They tour the house and it looks like it is everything he coud want, big, cheap and great view. when they arrive to the bathroom th...

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