UPJOKE

Heart Broken Jokes

My horoscope said I was going to get my heart broken in 12 years time

So I bought a puppy to cheer myself up!

I got my heart broken by a tennis player in high school.

Love means nothing to them.

This joke may contain profanity. šŸ¤”

My first managers name was Lorraine.

My first managers name was Lorraine and she was really cool. Her husband, alfonso, was an assistant manager at the same store, and he was a dick. He had been having an affair for quite some time with a woman named Claire Lee . Everyone except his wife knew, but we didn't have the heart to tell her. ...

Diving trip goes bad...

A husband and wife are out diving one day in deep open waters when they became separated.
The husband in panic swam and dove as long as he could in an attempt to find his wife,before he eventually ran out of air. He made it back home and alerted the authorities.
A rescue party was sent out, wi...

This joke may contain profanity. šŸ¤”

Yikes. I think my sister is getting divorce oddly related to detective comicsā€¦

So Iā€™m visiting my sister and her family in San Diego. They live in a beautiful house about a block and a half from the beach. Itā€™s beautiful there. Long expansive vistas and soft warm sand.

Iā€™m staying at their house. John and Tracy. Real good folks, or at least I thought. Itā€™s a bit late i...

My life ambition is to have a lot of karma on Reddit.

Unfortunately, it is a hard job. I tried doing it alone first, leaving insightful comments and making quirky posts - but I had no luck. So I decided to ask for advice.

First, I went to a wise guru who had a thousand karma. And I asked him, "Oh wise guru, how do you have so much karma?"
...

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