UPJOKE

Health Benefits Jokes

I was telling my children about the health benefits of eating dried fruits recently

It's really all about raisin awareness.

The health benefits of vaping

Ever since I started vaping, my wife has been getting a lot less cigarette burns.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I like to masturbate twice a day for the health benefits.

The other three times are just for me.

I enjoy one glass of wine each night for its health benefits.

The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and my flawless dance moves.

Eating at McDonald's has plenty of health benefits.

For instance, it would prevent you from dying of old age.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Apparently, ozone released into the anus is a form of "ozone therapy" and has health benefits.

It sounds to me that these people are just blowing smoke up their ass...

A friend recommended contrast hot / cold shower

So I tried it. Don't see any health benefits yet but I have become easier to peel.

Three hillbillies are at work...

They’ve just been handed their new health benefits plan. Cletus starts reading it and says “Hey Billy-Bob, hey Bubba, check this part out, if we lose a finger at work we get $5000!”

Later that day, Billy-Bob and Bubba cut off Cletus’ finger. They collect their $5000, put the finger in a plast...

Stupid Overcomplicated euphemism jokes

1.

I’m a transaction manager for a multibillion dollar corporation

I work as a McDonald’s cashier

2.

“Mom there is a burglar in here”

“No kid I’m just an asset reallocation specialist”

3.

“So what do you do for a living?”

“I travel and driv...

The local journalist heard about a man turning 100 years old who had never had any alcohol in his life.

The journalist decided to interview him to highlight the health benefits of abstaining.

On the day of the interview the journalist is led into the old man's house by his caregiver. The caregiver took him to the old man who was bedridden and hooked up to an oxygen tank.

"So you've never...

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