UPJOKE

Head And Shoulders Jokes

The fact that Head and Shoulders....

Hasn't made a bodywash called Knees and Toes, really bothers me.

Head and shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes, knees and toes, head and shoulders, knees and toes, and eyes and ears and mouth and nose...

Hey mate, I undestand, that you need to blow off some steam while cleaning the accident consequences of a train with the buss full of seniors, but for god's sake, could you sing something else?

Asked 100 women what shampoo they were using. 2 said Head and Shoulders

The other 98 replied "How did you get in here?"

A blonde and a brunette are on an elevator...

And a short man with dandruff gets on and then comes off on the next floor.


The brunette goes, "Wow, that guy could really use some Head and Shoulders."

The blonde says, "How do you give shoulders?"




No offense anyone...hehe

I listened to him boast about standing head and shoulders above the rest and how he felt it was acceptable, even encouraged, to look down on others. I realized I couldn’t cast a vote for this man.

He was a height supremacist.

A man’s wife is very concerned about the horrible dandruff he has, and the fact that he won’t go to the doctor about it.

So she goes to the doctor on his behalf, and she says doctor, my husband has horrible dandruff and he won’t do anything about it and I am at my wits end with the skin flakes all over the bed sheets and pillows, what can I do?

The doctor says, give him head and shoulders, and see if that help...

A blonde and a brunette are talking about their boyfriends’ dandruff problems

The brunette says, “my boyfriend used to have dandruff, but I gave him Head and Shoulders and it went away in a few days”

The blonde thinks for a minute and then replies, “how do you give shoulders?”

Did you know that Paul Walker had dandruff?

I didn’t know either, until I saw his Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment.

[NSFW] A wife calls her friend to ask about her husband's dandruff problem

Friend: Oh, just give your husband Head and Shoulders

Wife: Oh, okay

15 minutes later, wife calls her friend again

Wife: Sorry for asking again, but how exactly do you give shoulders?

A man is in a cosmetic shop, then a female worker asks him:"Do you want Head and Shoulders sir?"

Then the man responds:"Yes, but how did you know my name was 'and Shoulders'? "

I have a skin disease called psoriasis

It really only flares up on my legs and feet and using dandruff shampoo helps clear it up or at least soften it. So I guess you could say I use head and shoulders for my knees and toes.

A blonde and brunette walk into an elevator

They exchange pleasantries and the door closes, the next floor a man gets in with terrible dandruff.
Both women look at each other but don’t say anything.
When the man gets off and the door shuts they share a laugh.
The brunette says “wow he could definitely use some head and shoulders!”<...

A women calls her mum about her boyfriend's dandruff

The mum replies "have you tried giving him head and shoulders?"

The girlfriend thinks for a moment, and says "how do i give him shoulders?"

A blonde joke

A blonde is talking to another about her new boyfriend. “How is everything?” She asks

“ He’s great except he has dandruff.” Says the first.

“ That’s not a problem, just give him some Head and Shoulders.”

“Okay” says the first, “ but how do you give shoulders?”

Whats a cannibal's favorite type of shampoo?

Head and shoulders!

My local store organizes their shampoo aisle like Ajax.

Head and Shoulders above the rest.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was driving along at 70mph when this motorbike pulled up alongside me and the rider gestured at me to roll the window down

so I did, and he leaned his entire head and shoulders into my car, he's got a cigarette between his lips and he says "Hey mate, could you give us a light?"

"Are you trying to fucking kill yourself?!" I screamed.

He shrugged at me. "It's all right, I'm down to ten a day now."

Retired hooker working at CVS

Guy walks in and says ‘looking for Head and Shoulders’ Old hooker says ‘ok, let’s go out back... but what the hell is ‘shoulders’ ?

Dandruff in the Elevator

A blonde and a brunette get into an elevator and punch in two of the highest floors. They do not know each other, so they stay to themselves.

About halfway up to their respective floors, a balding gentleman enters the elevator with them, with some of the most atrocious dandruff either of the ...

Two strings walk into a bar.

The bartender yells " Get out we don't serve strings" and has the bouncer throw them out.
The first string is dejected and sadly heads home.

The second string stands up, dusts himself off and decides he is gonna try again. He bends over backwards turns to the side and pushes his head and ...

Elevator confusion

A blonde and a brunette are on an elevator together and it stops to let a man on. The man is wearing a business suit and has obvious dandruff flakes on both shoulders. He says hello and gets out on the next floor. The women continue to ride in awkward silence when the brunette speaks up. She says, "...

What’s the hardest part of giving birth to a shampoo bottle?

Head and shoulders

A blonde works in a dermatologist office...

and her boyfriend has terrible dandruff, so one day she asks the Dr. what she can do about it.He says, "Its simple, just give him head and shoulders." The next day she comes in and says to the Dr. " I've got one more question, how do you give someone shoulders?"

I don't usually brag about my shampoo

But it really is head and shoulders above everything else

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Tasteless space shuttle Challenger jokes

Q) Where did Christa McAuliffe spend her vacation?

A) All over Florida.

Q) What color were Christa McAuliffe's eyes?

A) Blue, one blew this way, one blew that way.

Q) What was the last thing Christa McAuliffe told her husband?

A) "You take care of the dog and cat, ...

Blonde woman goes to the doctor...

She tells the doctor that her husband has terrible dandruff and they've tried everything and it just keeps getting worse. Doctor tells the blonde to go home, give him head and shoulders, and come back in two weeks. Two weeks pass and the woman goes back to the doctor, "I'm stumped, he still has dand...

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