Having A Bad Day Jokes - 25 Hilarious Having A Bad Day Jokes

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I'm a bus driver. If I'm having a bad day

at work, I'll look in the mirror while driving, and mutter to myself " you're all cunts aren't you ? " and then tap the brakes twice so they all nod.

A man was having a bad day...

A little man sits sadly in the bar with a beer in front of him.

A large, bad guy walks along, smacks him on the shoulder and drinks his beer happily.

The little man begins to cry with desperation, sobbing.

The big one: "Don't be like that, ya plump wimp! Crying for a beer!"...

If you’re having a bad day, just punch an orphan.

Who are they going to tell? Their parents?

A husband and wife were having a bad day.

They were arguing a lot until the wife got fed up and said to just write her a note if he really wanted to talk to her. He agreed, so for the rest of the day they passed notes here and there.

At night the husband left a note on the table saying “please wake me up at 6 A.M, I have to wake up e...

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How do you know when a blonde is having a bad day?

When she can't find her pencil and there is a tampon behind her ear.

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Having a bad day at work…

An associate goes to the bar in the top floor of his high rise office building and orders a drink. The place is empty except for the bartender and a lone man at the other end of bar. While staring into his drink, he can’t help but notice the other guy pound 4 shots.
“Must’ve had a worse day than...

Having a bad day

There I was, sitting at the bar, staring at my drink, when a really big, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink, and gulps it down in one swig.
"Well, whatcha gonna do about it?" he says menacingly, as I burst into tears.
"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think yo...

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Having a bad day and need your spare funny NSFW jokes. Help me Reddi-wan your my only joke!

So this cowboy goes out riding. Gets captured by natives and is told that now is a holy time so he may live in their camp for 3 days while the holy time comes to a close. The cowboy agrees (like he had a choice)

First day he askes his guard if he can go talk to his horse. The guard wants to k...

And you thought you were having a bad day . . .

There was this little guy sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink. He didn't move for a half-an-hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver stepped up right next to him, took the drink from the guy, and just drank it all down. The poor man started crying.

The truck driver turned ...

Why was the pallet having a bad day?

He got all jacked up the night before

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Little Johnny is having a bad day.

He tried to button his shirt and button fell off.

He tried to pick his back pack up and the strap fell off.

He tried to go outside and the doorknob fell off.

Now he’s dancing around in pain afraid to take a piss.

Why don't Flat Earthers care if they're having a bad day?

They're always on top of the world

A lady is having a bad day at the tables in Vegas.

Down to her last $100, completely exasperated, she cries, "What rotten luck! What in the world should I do now?"

A gent next to her, trying to calm her down a bit, calmly suggests, "I don't know... Why don't you play your age?"

He walks away. Moments later, his he is intrigued to hea...

An accountant is having a bad day

Everything is going wrong, his marriage is going down the tubes, he is about to lose his job, he steps out and looks down
Guy on the street calls the cops and says "Come quick! There's an accountant on the ledger!"

What did one blood cell say to another blood cell that was having a bad day?

B positive

What do you tell a Mexican having a bad day?

Sorry amigo, it's nacho day.

An Art Critic is having a bad day.

He arrives in his office, only to hear the phone ring. Picking it up, it's from his agent. This is what he says:

"Alright, I got good news and bad news."

"Tell me the good news first, I've been having a horrible day."

"Ok boss. Good news is that your wife found some pictures. Sa...

A member of Isis is having a bad day...

It's having a crisis

Someone suggested that when you are having a bad day that you should do your best to turn it around

But I'm not sure how to enjoy a yaddab either.

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A cat walks into a bar.

He’s having a bad day. He asks the bartender for a shot of whiskey. The bartender puts it on the counter and the cat slowly nudges the shot glass onto the floor breaking the shot glass. The cat looks up at the bartender and says leave the bottle. I’m not done yet.

A father sees his 5 year old son praying in the middle of the night

He finds it odd but listens closely to it. The kid was praying 'Good night mommy, good night daddy, good night granny, bye bye grandpa'. The father finds it weird but doesn't think much about it. The next day he hears that his father in law is dead. The father finds it abnormal but thinks that it is...

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In a bar (long)

I forget where I heard this one but it’s one of my favorites.

A man walks into a bar and sits down looking very miserable. Another man sees him and asks “having a bad day?” To which the first man responded “I just got married and put a down payment on our dream house, overextended our credit...

A man walks into a bar. Looking visibly distraught, he orders his drink.

A man walks into a bar. Looking visibly distraught, he orders his drink. "Having a bad day?", the barkeep asks. "I guess you could say so. I just accidently time travelled back into the 20th century." "Really? What did you change?" "Oh heavens, nothing! I just went straight back to the present. Do y...

Boy says goodbye instead of goodnight

So a boy and his family are praying, and after they finished praying, it’s their tradition to say goodnight, and go to sleep.

So the boy says, goodnight mama, goodnight papa, goodnight grandpa, goodbye grandma.

At the time, they didn’t really think much of it, and the boy didn’t even ...

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A guy meets his friend and notices that he's anxious and jittery.

Man 1: What's wrong?

Man 2: I've been having a bad day.

Man 1: What happened?

Man 2: When I opened my door, the damn knob broke on me!

When I turned my faucet on, the damn faucet broke on me!

When I tried to pick up my briefcase, the damn handle broke on me!
...

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