UPJOKE

Have Time Jokes

I asked my boss if I could have time off work because I was having a baby

When I came back the boss asked “So was it a boy or a girl?”

I said “I don’t know, I’ll tell you in 9 months”

I don't have time for the Fall Equinox

But if you check back with me at Daylight Savings Time I should have an extra hour...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"I don't have time for this shit!"

I thought, as I sat on the toilet, angry, and late for work.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I told my wife… that if we start having sex by the time they start the New Year’s Eve countdown

We’ll still have time to go see the fireworks

If you think about it, we already have Time Machines.

They're called clocks.

God: We should let these “humans” have time to rest.

Angel: Agreed

God: How about we have them go to sleep at night?

Angel: That sounds good! But how will they go to sleep?

God: That’s easy. We make them pretend to go to sleep for a few minutes, before it actually works and then they fall asleep.

Angel: ....

Interviewer:Do you have time for a question?

A: Yes...but...do...you...have...time...for...my...answer?

How did the Allies have time to prepare D-Day?

Because Russia was Stalin

What do nuclear physicists do when they have time off?

They go fission.

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