UPJOKE

Happy Easter Jokes

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What’s the difference between a prostitute and Jesus?

The sound they make when you’re nailing them.

Happy Easter you filthy degenerates.

Happy Easter

Three blondes died in a car crash trying to jump the Grand Canyon and are at the pearly gates of heaven. St Peter tells them that they can enter the gates only if they can answer one simple religious question. The question posed by St. Peter is "What is Easter"?

The first blonde replies, "Oh...

Happy Easter 2020

Jesus called and said he isn't leaving the tomb until COVID 19 has passed.

Happy Easter Weekend ...

It is the day of Christ's crucifixion, and Jesus is being nailed in as his followers gather at the base of Golgotha to weep and mourn.

As they pray, they hear Jesus call out in a soft voice: "Peter ... Peter ..."

"Our Lord calls to you, Peter!" Thomas says.

Emboldened, Peter t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Happy Easter!

A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road.

He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car.
The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see
what has becom...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Happy Easter

A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane., After a while, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked, "Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?'

The rabbi responded, "Yes, that is still one of our laws."

The priest then asked, "Have you...

What’s a Christian’s favorite flower? Jesus Rose.

Just wrote this and said it to my wife. She laughed.
Happy Easter y’all!

Why do we color eggs for Easter?

Because Jesus DYED for our sins.

Happy Easter!

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

You only need one nail to hang a picture! Happy Easter!

Why does Jesus hate M&M’s?

They keep falling through the holes in his hands.




Happy Easter, everyone.

What do you call a bunch of rabbits walking backwards?

A receding hare line.

Happy Easter

Hard to really appreciate the joy of Easter when I’ve already been eating chocolate for 27 days straight

Happy Easter!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes to church on Easter Sunday and returns home with two black eyes.

His wife asks him how he got the black eyes.

Man: Old Ms. Johnson was sitting in front of me during mass, when she stood up I noticed her dress was stuck in butt crack, so I reached out and gently tugged it out. She spun around, was really mad and punched me in the eye.

Wife: that exp...

Q. Dad, why did you name my sister "Teresa"?

A. Well, son, "Teresa" is an anagram of "Easter", and Easter is your mother's favorite holiday. Why do you ask, Alan?


Happy Easter, everyone.

What do you call a rabbit with fleas?

Bugs Bunny...

Happy Easter

Why is Jesus always shown with a six pack of abs?

Because hes Cross fit.

Happy easter!

Did you hear that Jesus was a bit of a drunk?

One time He got so hammered that He fell asleep in a cave for three days before He woke up.


(heard in church today) :-) Happy Easter!

What do you get if you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole?

Hot cross bunnies

Happy Easter

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