UPJOKE

Hand Signal Jokes

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A gorilla walks into a bar in Manhattan

The bartender gives the gorilla a craft beer menu (without the fucking QR codes). The gorilla points at a particular summer ale, with hints of lemon. The bartender nods, and tells him what a great choice that is.

A few minutes later, the bartender serves the gorilla this tasty craft brew, an...

The sleeper, the pastor and Adam's stick

Mr. Smith and the pastor discuss the problem that Mrs. Smith always falls asleep during the sermon. The pastor gives Mr. Smith a hatpin and recommends that he prick her as soon as he receives a sign from the pastor.

The following Sunday, Mrs. Smith has fallen asleep peacefully, the pastor ask...

A dog breeder has a very defensive Golden Retriever

There was a period of time where she caused all the mailmen to just pass his house because of the dog. All but one mailman. The dog never attacked, but rather happily trotted up to him and asked to be pet. Eventually the breeder sees the mailman speaking to the dog, and the dog seemed to respond! Af...

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Ceasefire broken!

Once upon a time Sweden and Norway was at war, The war was getting pretty bad for both sides so they decided to have a ceasefire.

At the front line there were 2 watchtowers, 1 on each side of the border and there was one Norwegian and one Swedish solider on watch out duty on each side of th...

Mad-Dog’s Lady

A rough pack of tough bikers were out for a scoot in the hill country in central Texas. Pulling into Austin, they saw a beautiful girl about to jump off Pennybaker bridge. Mad-Dog, their leader, gave the hand signal to pull up. Mad-dog, a big burly man with skin like leather, a handle bar mustache,...

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It’s World War II, just before dusk. And a Native American Code Talker named Grey Beaver was running for his life...

Author's note - Wrote this from memory. When you tell this joke in person, act out the stuff in brackets.

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It’s World War II, just before dusk. And a Native American Code Talker named Grey Beaver was running for his life from a German patrol. One of the benefi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Black Soldier vs. An Indian

Some black soldiers and an Indian tribe are in a war. A black solider has dug in and is on the front line in a foxhole. The Indian is out patrolling to make contact with the enemy. The two soldiers come across one another and hold their ground. There's obviously an inability to verbally communic...

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