UPJOKE

Gypsy Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A gypsy kid comes home from school and asks his father...

'Dad, am I "outstanding" in reading 'cause I'm a gypsy?'

'No, son. That's 'cause you can read well.'

The next day, the gypsy kid comes home and asks:

'Dad, am I "outstanding" in grammar 'cause I'm a gypsy?'

'No, son. That's 'cause you're good at grammar.'

The next ...

What do you get if you push a gypsy off a bike?

Your bike back

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the definition of a gypsy virgin?

A 6 year old girl that can run faster than her dad.

Where does a gypsy keep his money?

In your wallet

Why should you never bully a fifth grader gypsy?

Because his father is in the eleventh grade.

A man takes his son to see the fortune teller at the carnival

After looking at the crystal ball for a bit, the old gypsy woman is noticeably crestfallen.
"You poor bad-luck child. Tomorrow your pet will die, the week after that your best friend dies, and finally in a fort night your father will die."

The father and son are both shocked and the fath...

A gypsy is doing his driving test.

The instructor asks him: What road sign is that?

The gypsy replies: Aluminium

How do you make a gypsy take a bath?

Leave it on the front garden.

Why do Gypsy's walk funny?

Because of their Crystal Balls

A black guy and a gypsy are in a car who is driving?

The cop

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A gypsy girl is about to get married.....

Her mum says,"Emerald,you do realise that when you get married, your husband will want to stick his most prized posession in to where you piss?"

The daughter replies,"Shut up Ma, how the fuck is he gonna fit his Transit van in the sink?

So There's a Gypsy and a Doctor (old Croatian joke)

The gypsy and the doctor are both in the market looking for houses. So the doctor decides that he wants his own custom house. So he buys a plot of land. And, seeing the doctor as a smart man, the gypsy does the same.

Once construction on the houses had begun, the gypsy copied everything the ...

What happens when you finger a gypsy on her period?

You get your palm red.

The German, the gypsy and the Romanian are on a plane

Suddenly, the German throws a silver spoon out the window. The others ask him why he did that, to which the German replies:

'Where I come from, that's what we have the most of.'

After that, the gypsy throws a gold spoon out the window. The others asks him why he did that, to which he r...

3 Jokes in one

A gypsy with no siblings, came home from work and had a shower.

What does a gypsy drive?

A mini copper

How do you recognize a gypsy vampire?

Its sucks the iron out from your blood.

Green Spots

Rebecca is worried about 2 green spots that appeared on her inner thighs. Although she is embarrassed, she goes to the doctor who looks and asks her ' Is your boyfriend a Gypsy? '
Rebecca says 'Yes, how did you know?'
So the doctor said 'Tell him his earrings are not gold'

You know how to do gypsy triathlon?

You walk to the pool, don't swim, and then ride home on a brand new bike.

A robbery

A gypsy fortune-teller once told me:

"For 20 euros i can see your life in the palm of your hand"

I replied:

"That's a robbery! My mother goes to the hairdresser in my neighborhood, and for 10 euros she tells her everyone's life"


Note: The translation was made from ...

A man wants to know about his future

He heads over to the most renown Gypsy card reader in the country.

"Please, what does my future hold for me?"

"Mmmmmmmm the cards tell me your ex-wife will be involved in a terrible accident!" Yelled the Gypsy.

The man rolls his eyes and says:

"....Yes, yes I know, but i...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pickled Penis(NSFW)

A woman and her husband were experiencing marital problems, to the point where they were no longer having sex. After visiting several counselors the problems were not resolved. The woman grew desperate, and was afraid to ask her husband for sex. In her desperation she visited a Gypsy, and explained ...

Gypsy week

I call my GFs period 'Gypsy Week' because if I put my hand down her pants I'll get my palm red.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A rich arab prince falls in love with a gipsy woman...

A rich arab falls in love with a gipsy woman. He tells her he loves her, but she says she can only marry him if her father aproves. The arab goes to the father and tells him he would do anything for the hamd of his daughter. The gipsy wasn't that eager to give her away, so he tried to find reasons n...

A girl goes to the doctor ..

A girl goes to a doctor to ask about green spots on the inside of her thighs.

The doctor examines them and then asks "Is your boyfriend a gypsy"

Amazed, the girl says "Yes, Why?"

The doctor says "Well, tell him his earrings are not gold"

A gypsy village was flooded

Superman came and started helping them, which resulted in no one being harmed.

When the last gypsy was saved, as Superman put him to the ground, the gypsy wanted to thank him, but he couldn't remember his name.

He sees a big "S" letter on his chest and said:

"Thank you, S...Sbat...

A gypsy and his neighbour decide to build new houses...

They spared no expense, and they succeeded in building two identical houses, brick for brick. When they were done, they both stepped back to admire their work.

“What a great house!” the gypsy's neighbour said. “I’ll bet that I can sell it for a million dollars.”

“What a great house!” t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The statue lovers

Two ancient statues in a Roman park had been locking eyes for over 1000 years, their bodies arched toward each other with the promise of a warm embrace. One day a mystical gypsy woman stumbled upon the statues in the park and had an idea.

She used her dark gypsy ways to bring the statues to ...

Ever heard of an Irish bath?

An Irish bath is when you stand at the sink and just wash your armpits. Some people call it a Gypsy bath, or an Italian shower. A French bath is when you just douse yourself in cologne.

Whatever you call it, it’s all just ethnic cleansing.

A guy is driving along when he spots a gypsies caravan on the side of the road with a sign saying, "readings $10 per person".

He pulls over thinking this could be a laugh, and enters the caravan.

The gypsy immediately grabs his hands, looks at them for a couple of seconds and looks up into the guys eyes.

She says, "Thriller, pretty woman, when doves cry ,stairway to heaven."

"wow", said the guy, "tho...

A gypsy man caught a golden fish

And the fish said "Dear fisherman, if you throw me back in the water, I will grant you three wishes."

The gypsy threw the fish back and went "I want to be white, I want to be 8 inches long and I want all women in the world to want me."

Fish did it's magic and the man turned into a peri...

A guy tells his friend:

\- The other day at a festival, out of curiosity I went into a famous Gypsy Fortune Teller's booth. She told me that I was going to meet a brunette who'll cost me a lot of money.

\- Did her prediction come true?

\- Oh yes, immediately. She demanded 100$ for consultation.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So there's this duck...

...and one day he's walkin down the street when he gets a huge craving for some donuts. So he goes to the bakery and walks in and says to the baker "hey man can i get a dozen donuts, half glazed and half boston creme?" And the baker's like "No, you can't. We don't serve ducks here." And the duck's a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some truckers have a dog for company...

A trucker is driving West across Texas, haulin' a trailer full of chickens, with his pet parrot in the cab. While driving through Dallas he sees a beautiful woman on the side of road, leg hiked up, thumb out. He stops and looks at her. "Where ya headed?" He asks. "Headed to California." She says gra...

Three girls are vacationing in Romania when they come across a gypsy

The gypsy says, "I'll bet you 20 leu each that I can guess which country you're visiting from just by looking at you." The girls think there's no way this hack gypsy can tell where they're from just by looking, so they take the bet. The gypsy scans them for a few seconds and says, "you're all Americ...

A Woman Goes To Her Doctor

Doctor I have a green spots on each of my thighs. The doctor looks and states I never seen anything like that, I will esquire, come back next and I will know more. Next week she comes back and the doctor I have an idea, what is your husband's ethic group? He is a a gypsy. Doctor It's OK you have no...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Would like some joke help. Tell me your best one liner.

I'm going to a murder mystery party Saturday and my character is supposed to be a gypsy juggler who is clever and funny. I just learned to juggle, now I need some jokes. Quick witted and one liners are preferred. Thanks for the help.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.