UPJOKE

Guess What Happened Jokes

You'll never guess what happened to my foreskin when I went to a Jewish festival the other day?

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I guess what happened to Gamora in Infinity War

was definitely not a cliffhanger

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Pregnant woman got shot 3 times

A pregnant woman with triples got shot in the stomach 3 times as an innocent bystander.
She went to the hospital and they examined and said luckily No surgery is needed and bullets will come out naturally.

She goes on to have 3 healthy boys. After many years go by one day one of her sons...

A man goes to his rabbi

and says: “You’ll never believe what happened to me! My son left the house and became a Christian!”Surprised, the rabbi responds: “Well you’ll never believe what happened to me! My son left the house and became a Christian too!” “Then what are we gonna do?”, the man asks, to which the rabbi can only...

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Three Hunters.

Three hunters, Bill, Eric, and Justin were going deer hunting, but they were having no luck. Bill says he needs to take a dump. He gets up and wanders away to find a log. While he was gone, Eric shot a deer. They skinned it. Bill didn't come back. They cleaned it. Bill **still** didn't come back. So...

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A greyhound walks into a bar...

A greyhound walks into a bar and takes a look around. There are three horses sitting at the counter chatting away, he decides to sit close enough to overhear their conversation.

The first horse says, “I have an incredible story for you guys! I was racing last Friday, two minutes in and I am l...

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Triplets

A woman was pregnant with triplets. One day she was walking to the market and a man came out of no where and shot her thrice. She was rushed to the hospital and somehow she survived. Her delivery date came and she gave birth to 2 daughters and 1 son.


18 years later :

The mother wa...

A man was chatting with his friend.

\-"Guess what happened! I found this woman tied to the railroad tracks. I untied her, and then we made love all night!"

\-"That's amazing dude! What did she look like?"

\-"I don't know, I never found her head."

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Grateful Girl

A man goes into his usual bar and says to the bartender, "You'll never guess what happened to me last night!"


Bartender says, "What happened?"


"Well", says the man, "After I left here I was walking home on my usual route when I saw a girl tied to the railways tracks. I ran ...

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Slip of the tongue

Two guy friends were out at dinner and the one friend says to the other, “guess what happened to me at the train station today?”
“What” says his friend
“I was at the train station buying a ticket for my wife to go to Pittsburg and the lady at the desk was wearing a very low cut top, so I acc...

They say drinking milk makes you stronger...

So I drank a carton of milk, and then I tried to push my fridge and it didn’t even budge.

Frustrated, I decided to drink a bottle of vodka, and guess what happened?

The fridge moved itself

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A frog is born mute

A frog is born mute so he can’t make any noises that a frog typically makes because, well, he can’t make any noises at all. So naturally it’s very difficult for the frog to make friends with the other frogs and he ends up with just one friend; a tortoise who’s had the patience and the wherewithal to...

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3 Friends decided to go hunting together

Later, as the day darkens, they lay down their tents and settle down around a fire. After eating and chatting for a while, one of the hunters gets tired, and goes to sleep.

Half an hour later, one of the two awake hunters gets an idea.

"You know what would be really funny? We still hav...

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