UPJOKE

Grandpa Died Jokes

When my grandpa died he farted and we thought he was still alive...

...turns out, he just let one R.I.P.

One night, Sally was saying goodnight to her parents and grandparents.

“Good night Mom, good night Dad, good night Grandma, goodbye Grandpa.”
Her dad asked her, “Why goodbye?”
“Oh, I dunno, I just felt like it.”

The very next day, her grandpa died.

That evening, Sally was saying goodnight again.
“Good night Mom, good night Dad, goodbye Grandma...

My grandpa died peacefully in his sleep

Unlike the passengers in his taxi

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Darren’s Grandpa Died....

Darren asks his grandma, “Grandma, how did grandpa die?”

G: Your grandpa had a heart attack when we were having sex

D: But grandma, you shouldn’t be making out at that age!

G: We would fuck each other to the rhyme of the church. One ‘Bong’ is in, one ‘Bong’ is out. It would go s...

My stuttering grandpa died in prison today...

He couldn't finish his sentence

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Even after my grandpa died 4 years ago, I still remember his final words

"STOP SHAKING THE LADDER YOU LITTLE CUNT!!! "

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My grandpa died of a viagra overdose

my grandma took it really hard

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A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed....

A Father put his 3year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying,
"God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa."

The father asked, 'Why did you say good-bye Grandpa?'

The little girl said, "I don't know dadd...

My grandpa died yesterday. Here's one of my favorite jokes he told. What are your favorite grandpa jokes?

Old Ms.Robinson went out into her backyard to do some gardening when she heard some noise coming from the yard next door. She peered over the fence and saw that her neighbour's little daughter was digging a hole. "Sally what are you doing with that shovel?" asked Ms.Robinson. "My goldfish died, s...

My grandpa died from a heart attack over the summer and I feel at least partially responsible.



He was having trouble navigating Amazon because they have so many different things available. I suggested that when he wants to buy something he should look for a more focused website so it's easier to find things.

But if it wasn't for me, during the heatwave back in August he never ...

My grandpa died because we did not know his blood type

I will never forget his last words ...

“Be positive”

My grandpa died in a concentration camp.

Poor guy fell out of the guard tower.

Little Johnny tells his friend, "My grandpa died yesterday."

Friend asks, "Oh, how did that happen?"

Johnny, "He hit his thumb with a hammer."

Friend, "But you can't die of that!"

Johnny, "I know but he wouldn't stop screaming and cursing so we shot him."

My Grandpa died last week,because we couldn’t figure out what was his blood type.

But he was strong man,who never gave up and he kept telling us to be positive till the last moment.

I hate how people meaninglessly joke about 9/11, my grandpa died then.

He was such a great pilot.

My grandpa died last year

My grandpa died last year when my family couldn't remember his blood type in time for paramedics to save him..

As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive", but it's hard without him.

My Grandpa died doing what he loved.

Driving his big rig, that nursing home didn't know what hit them.

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Right before our Grandpa died we covered his back in butter.

He went downhill pretty quickly after that.

People always keep making jokes about how people died in the Holocaust, my grandpa died during the Holocaust.

He fell off of a guard tower and broke his neck.

A father heard his daughter praying inside her room...

Daughter: "God bless mommy, God bless daddy, God bless grandma, Goodbye grandpa..."
Dad: Honey, why did you say "goodbye grandpa"?
Daughter: I don't know daddy, it just feels right.

The grandpa died the following day but that dad thought it's just a coincidence.
One week later, he he...

What’s the most underrated joke you’ve heard in a movie?

Mine is from The Hangover:

Alan: I can't afford to lose somebody close to me again, it hurts too much. I was so upset when my grandpa died.

Phil: How'd he die?

Alan: World War II.

Phil: Died in battle?

Alan: No, he was skiing in Vermont, it was just during World Wa...

Two guys are in a bar, discussing life and death.

“Arrr, my grandpa died this week,” says the first guy. “He was in the hospital, and we was trying to get a blood transfusion fer him. The problem was, we weren’t too sure what blood type he was. But you know what? That man kept saying ‘Be positive, be positive’ all throughout the visit. Most optimis...

Boy says goodbye instead of goodnight

So a boy and his family are praying, and after they finished praying, it’s their tradition to say goodnight, and go to sleep.

So the boy says, goodnight mama, goodnight papa, goodnight grandpa, goodbye grandma.

At the time, they didn’t really think much of it, and the boy didn’t even ...

An old man was sitting next to a kid

And he saw the kid eating a lot of chocolate, pack after pack...

So the man asked the kid: do you think it's healthy for you eating all that chocolate?

So the kid answered: My grandpa died at 100 years old

-And you think it's because he ate chocolate?

-No, it's because h...

The teacher asked her students: "What is the easiest way to die?"

"I think the easiest way to die is how my grandpa died," one of the students answered.

"And how did your grandpa die?" the teacher asked.

"He died while he was asleep." answered the student.

"And what is the worst way to die?" the teacher asked again.

The same student rai...

Jack and the dog

So jack was crying because his dog died and his mother walked up to him and said”oh jack why are you crying you didn’t cry when grandpa died” on which jack responded with”I didn’t buy grandpa from my allowance

This is a long one so stay with me (Not my joke my friend just told me)

One day a girl was saying her prayers. She said, “Goodnight Mom. Goodnight Dad. Goodnight Grandma. And GOODBYE Grandpa.” The next day the grandpa died. A few months later the daughter is saying her prayers. She says, “ Goodnight Mom. Goodnight Dad. GOODBYE Grandma.” Grandma dies the next day. Anothe...

My Grandpa told me this joke.

What does 'r' stands for in r/jokes?

Repost.

My Grandpa died in 1999.

People need to stop joking about ligma, it’s a distasteful joke and it really makes me sad...

Especially since my grandpa died of sucma

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A kid walks into a pharmacy and asks the doctor if he has something to counter viagra.

Doctor gets confused and asks:
-Son, every man asks for viagra, why are you asking for something to counter it?
Kid says:
-My grandpa died and we can't close the casket.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You hear about the accident involving the mustang and the t bird?

There was horse shit and feathers everywhere!

My grandpa died 12 years ago this week, thought I'd share his favorite joke.

Stop the concentration camp Jokes!

I find them incredibly offensive. My Grandpa died in one of those concentration camps!

Well, thinking about it...maybe he shouldn‘t have drank so much while standing on the watchtower...

A man walked into a bar. The bartender asked him "so, why the long face?"

The man said, "Well, my grandpa died. We had the funeral yesterday".

"Oh, I'm so sorry", said the bartender. "Here, have this one on the house".



"Well thanks, but that's not all," said the man. "You see, today morning, his will was read. I used to think that I was his favorite,...

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