UPJOKE

Grandfather Died Jokes

My grandfather died and I inherited some of his clothes.

He was a farmer and he loved getting dressed up every year for the local fair and exhibiting his prize chickens.

For this occasion, my grandmother would spend the entire year searching through thrift shops looking for silly neckties for him to wear, and she loved finding ones with chickens o...

My grandfather died because the report said he had Type-A blood

Unfortunately it was a Type-O

When my grandfather died we scattered his remains in the sea

Everyone on the beach panicked because we didn't cremate him...

After my grandfather died, his lawyer told us that all of his assets were Frozen.

Why he bought so many DVDs of the movie—no one knows.

My Grandfather died in Auschwitz

Poor guy fell out of the guard tower

My grandfather died at auschwitz

He had a heart attack after he saw the gift shop prices.

My grandfather died yesterday.

My father and I started cleaning out his apartment.

When we passed by his dresser we noticed some papers that fell between the dresser and the wall. One of the papers was an unclaimed dry cleaning ticket.

Looking at the ticket, we saw it was for a black suit that was b...

A French, a Brit, and an American are on an expedition in the Amazon

They are captured by a tribe of natives. The chief says to them, "you must die for intruding our land. But it is our custom to allow you to choose your own death."

After some time, the Frenchman says, "my great grandfather died by sword while fighting for France, I shall do the same to honor ...

My grandfather died while commenting on a Facebook post

I’ll not see the likes of him again

My Grandfather died in his sleep...

Everyone else in the car went out screaming.

I don't think holocaust jokes are funny. My grandfather died in a concentration camp.

He was so drunk, he fell off the watchtower.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Roger was very thin because he was afraid to spend a lot of money on food. He looked forward to the day when his grandfather would die and leave him a fortune.

His grandfather was blessed with both a sense of humor and a sense of justice. So he planned that when he finally died all he would leave to Roger was a cookie.

But what a cookie.

It was made with butter, churned from milk from a yak milked by a virginal milkmaid on the highest field o...

A guy says: "My great grandfather died in the concentration camps"

Then he laughs: "He fell from the guard tower"

"Stop telling jokes about this" His friend replies - "My great grandma also died in concentration camps"

"Oh I'm sorry"

"Yeah, some idiot dumbass dude fell on top of her from the guard tower"

When my Great Grandfather died they cremated his body but kept his toupee.

It is considered a family hairloom.

So my grandfather died from asbestosis

Took us a week to cremate him

My grandfather died after being crushed by a piano

His funeral was very low key

My grandfather died happy, doing the job he loved.

Much happier than the passengers on his bus when he died..

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I find Nazi jokes in such bad taste because my grandfather died at Auschwitz...

He was drunk and fell off his observation tower.

My Grandfather died peacefully in his sleep.

Shame about all the People on his bus tho.

I’d like to die like my grandfather died: peacefully in my sleep...

...not like his airplane passengers, screaming as his plane crashed into the mountainside.

My grandfather died last year.

A month before he died, he smeared some lard on his back.

After that he went downhill fast.

My grandfather died of asbestosis.

Took 6 months to cremate him.






This works better in person when you get the other person believing you first.

My dad is German and dropped this one on me the other day.

Dad: I never told you this but, my great grandfather died in the holocaust.

Me: Oh, man thats terrible.

Dad: Yeah, he got really drunk one night and fell off of the guard tower.

I'll never forget how my grandfather died...

Every one in our family remembers it - he didn't hesitate, he looked calmly, then pushed forward, charging into the face of death, and managed to kill 5 of em' before a piece of shrapnel ended his life...

Meanwhile my grandma was shouting "IT'S A RED LIGHT!"

When my grandfather died I found out he had a massive collection of clocks he built and was pretty popular

I later found out through a typo he was more popular for other things

"What would a peaceful death be like?" asks the professor

"The same way my grandfather died" The student replies

"And how died your grandfather?"

"He fell asleep"

"Nice answer. And what would be a terrible death?"

"The way that my grandfather's friends died"

"And how died your grandfather friends?

"They were in th...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.