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Golf Lesson Jokes

A young woman was taking golf lessons and had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting.

Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for medical assistance. The golf pro saw her heading back and said, “You are back early, what’s wrong?” “I was stung by a bee!” she said. “Where?” he asked. “Between the first and second hole.” she replied. He nodded and said, “Your...

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A lady out taking golf lessons! She is doing terrible...

The instructors getting pissed off. He says to her "listen dear, we have been out here all day long and we haven't gotten anywhere. You are not listening to what I tell you. Let's try something different. I want you to grab hold of the golf club just like you have hold of your husband's penis."...

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Golf Lessons

A lady decided she wanted to spend more time with her golf nut husband. Smartly she went directly to the club pro seeking advice. He took her to the range and told her to hit a ball so he could assess her swing. She did and the ball went 10 feet out in front of her. He suggested she adjust her stanc...

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My wife and I went to take golf lessons from a pro at the golf club.

We meet the pro and headed to the driving range. I went first. I swing and hit the ball 100 yards.

The golf pro says, "Not bad, now hold your club as firmly as you hold your wife's breast." I followed his instructions and hit the ball 300 yards. The golf pro says, "Excellent!"

My wife ...

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The golf lesson

A woman is getting a golf lesson from a pro. Despite every way he tries to explain it to her, she just can’t get her grip right, and slices the ball again and again. Finally, the exasperated pro say “Look - just pretend the golf club is your husband’s penis”. The woman steps up to the tee and hits a...

I took golf lessons from a pro, because my swing was so bad

He asked me to hit a few shots with my driver, a 5 wood, the 3, 5, and 7 irons

He said, “I see your problem. You are standing too close to the ball, after you’ve hit it.”

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A man and his wife are taking golf lessons together...

The instructor tells the man, "step up and swing, let's see what you've got." The man steps up and swings, driving the ball around 80 yards. The instructor says "that's not bad, good form, but your grip is too tight. Imagine holding the club as if you were holding your wife's breasts, firm but soft....

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Golf Lessons

Two women are playing golf. The first one hits the ball and it lands right beside the pin. The second woman then hits the ball and it goes to the right, landing in the rough, beside a tree. "These fucking lessons didn't do me any good!" she says.
"Maybe you should have taken golf lessons" replies...

Man killed on golf course

A foursome of guys waiting at the men's tee while a foursome of women were hitting from the ladies' tee. The ladies were taking their time. When the final lady was ready to hit her ball, she hacked it 10 feet. Then she went over and whiffed it completely. Then she hacked it another ten feet and f...

A dad puts his little girl to sleep...

And the girl says, "Goodbye Grandpa" and the dad asks why she said grandpa, the girl replied, "I don't know it just felt right".

The next day the grandpa died. The dad thought it was just a coincidence.

The dad puts the girl to sleep and a few months later she says, "Goodbye Grandma" a...

Retired golf vacation in Hawaii...

A man retires after 35 years at the same job and decides to take his first retirement vacation in Hawaii with his wife. He is really looking forward to two weeks of sightseeing and golf. The day they arrive, he signs up for pro golf lessons at the beautiful Pebble Beach Country Club. After a night o...

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Golf Truisims

* Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.

* Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during
your swing.

* When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either use
one more club or two more balls.

* If you're afraid a ful...

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