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Golf Joke Jokes

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Another golf joke

A golfer hits his ball into a yard next to the golf course.

As he goes to get it, a man in the yard says,

\- "Don't you see the sign? It says, 'Private property - Stay Out!'"

The golfer says,

\- "I'm sorry I did not see it. That is my ball there. May I have it... please...

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The World's Second Oldest Golf Joke

Pete and his buddy go golfing every Saturday. Pete leaves the house about 10 and gets home about four in the afternoon.

One Saturday, he leaves at 10 but doesn't get home until 9 that night.

His wife asks, "Why so late?"

Pete says, "Bud had a heart attack on the second green."...

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The World's Oldest Golf Joke

Joe and his buddy go golfing every Saturday.

One day, while they are on the third hole, a funeral caravan passes by on the adjacent street. Joe stops playing, takes off his hat and stands quietly as the procession passes.

His buddy says, "Wow, man, I didn't know you cared about funera...

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Golf Joke...What do you call the part of the body in between the vagina and rectum?

The driving range, because that’s where you hit your balls

Golf Joke of the Day

A husband and wife were golfing when suddenly the wife asked, "Honey, if I died would you get married again?"
The husband said, "No sweetie."
The woman said, "I'm sure you would."
So the man said, "Okay, I would"
Then the woman asked, "Would you let her sleep in our bed?"
And the man ...

Golf Joke

A man and his friend are playing golf one day at their local course. One of the men is about to tee off when he sees a funeral procession on the road next to the golf course. He pauses, removes his hat, and bows his head in prayer.


His friend says, “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and t...

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My favorite golf joke

A man was at the country club for his weekly round of golf. He began his round with an eagle on the first hole and a birdie on the second.

On the third hole he had just scored his first ever hole-in-one when his cell phone rang. It was a doctor notifying him that his wife had just been in a t...

Golf Joke or Not

Moses, Jesus, and a bearded old man are playing golf. Moses drives a long one, which lands on the fairway but rolls directly toward the pond. Moses raises his club, parts the water, and the ball rolls safely to the other side.
Jesus also hits a long one toward the same pond, but just as it’s abou...

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Golf joke

A man was stranded on a desert island for many years. One day a woman swims up in a wetsuit.





She says to the man, "I'll bet it's been a long time since you had a cigarette."



He says, "OMG I've wanted one for years." She reaches inside her wetsuit and pulls out a...

Another golf joke

A man and his wife are golfing. The wife hits a beautiful drive right down the center of the fairway. Trying to outdo his wife, the man overswings and slices the ball into the woods. As the man is about to safely punch his second shot out, his wife interjects,

"Now wait a minute! Ther...

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A golf joke

A man walks off the golf course and into the country club's bar. His forehead is cut, and there's blood all over his face and shirt. The bartender says,"What in the world happened to you?" The guy says, "Just set me up a double Scotch." So the bartender gives him his drink and asks again happened to...

Give me your best golf joke.

I work with a guy who claims he's heard ever golf joke there is. So far he's been correct, and has known every joke I've thrown his way.

I thought my golf joke was pretty lame,

but everyone kept assuring me that it was subpar.

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More Golf Jokes...

On the 16th hole of the golf course, Fred had hit his ball into the woods. Harry, his partner had laughed and poked fun, but then somehow managed to hit his ball into the woods, just a few yards beyond. Fred looked for a long time, getting angrier every minute. Finally, in a patch of pretty yellow b...

My favorite golf joke

Two guys are out golfing and a big thunderstorm rolls in. The first guy packs up his gear and starts running for the clubhouse when he sees his buddy take his 1-iron out of his bag and hold it above his head while casually walking in.

First guy says, "What are you doing?! Are you trying to ...

[Since we are telling old golf jokes] A man's car breaks down in the middle of nowhere and he has to go to a nearby farm ...

The farmer says he'd be happy to fix the car, but it will take three days. The man is welcome to stay with the farmer and his nine beautiful daughters, but since he doesn't trust the man, he has to sleep with the chickens.

The next day, the farmer asks how the man slept and the man says, "we...

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A long-assed golf joke- but a decent, long-assed golf joke...

A man goes to see his priest:

“Father”, the man begins, “I took the Lord’s name in vain today while I was golfing.”

“I see. This is certainly an egregious sin in the eyes of our Lord, but perhaps you could tell me the circumstances around which this happened. As a golfer myself, I un...

The golf joke

What's the best part about golf?

It's the only activity where you actually aim for the hole under 18 and you don't go to jail.

As far as I know original golf joke

So what does a bogey have in common with a dead golfer?

One too many strokes.

More golf jokes

Two guys are playing golf, but they are stuck behind two women who are really taking their time.
First guy says: "I'm gonna go over there and see if they won't let us pass".
So he walks over there, but once he gets closer to the women he quickly turns around and comes back.
First guy: "Man...

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A golf joke.

The Pope met with the College of Cardinals to discuss a proposal from Shimon Peres, the former leader of Israel. "Your holiness," said one of the Cardinals, "Mr. Peres wants to determine whether Jews or Catholics are superior, by challenging you to a golf match." The Pope was greatly disturbed, as h...

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My Favorite Golf Joke

A guys is working on his game by hitting golf balls into a net in his backyard. It's a pretty hot day and his wife comes out to bring him some lemonade. Just as she approaches from the side he takes a swing and shanks it. The ball zoom right towards his wife, goes into her mouth and she drops to ...

Golf jokes today is it? Here's mine

A three-man group, a doctor, a priest, and an engineer are playing a golf course on a beautiful summer day. After a few holes they realize the group ahead of them is progressing incredibly slowly; the doctor flags down the groundskeeper and asks "What's taking them so long? I've got patients to see ...

Golf jokes and puns are pretty bad

But that’s just par for the course.

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A nun goes golfing...

*[I was playing a round of golf the other day with a fellow who asked me if I knew any golf jokes. When I replied that I did not, he said you should always have a golf joke or two in your repertoire. I asked him for a joke then, and he told me this one. I now have one in my repertoire, and so wil...

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