UPJOKE

Going To The Gym Jokes

Both men and women are going to the gym to have the same thing.

A perfect female body.

Going to the gym must be really paying off.

Everytime I leave the room I hear people say 'what an ass'.

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Going to the gym for the new year

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Now that it's the new year I'm sick of all the gym rats bitching and moaning about all us newbies taking up space in their gyms," the guy complains to the bartender. "We didn't complain when they came to use our pubs in December."

I stopped going to the gym recently.

It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off me.

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I’m going to the gym for leg day on Friday.

Then I have to be a pallbearer for my cousin on Saturday. This will be my first time trying to deadlift two days in a row.

Do you think Mr. Cheese has been going to the gym?

I mean look at him, he's shredded!

Never thought one day I'll have to avoid going to the gym in order to stay healthy....

Courtesy: Covid

My friend has been going to the gym because people kept calling him "fat" and "ugly".

Now they just call him "ugly".

Going to the gym

Me: "can you teach me to do the splits? "

Instructor: "how flexible are you?"

Me: "I can't make Tuesdays"

Started going to the gym and I dropped 10 pounds very quickly.

Thankfully the dumbbell missed my foot.

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Going to the gym has changed my life. I dropped 20 pounds

On my foot. Shit’s broken and I can’t walk now.

Only been going to the gym a week

And already hitting the max weight on one of the machines.

Shame it's the scales

I've been going to the gym for 3 weeks now with no results..

What Pokemon do I use to lose weight?

I've been going to the gym for five years now and I still don't have abs.

It sucks being the cleaner.

I can never find time to work out, so I started going to the gym from 9 to 11.

That way I can *Never Forget.*

I've been going to the gym for 10 years with no progress...

Apparently, you have to actually exercise while you're there to see any results.

What do people say when Elon Musk says ,"I'm going to the gym."?

Musk-u-liar

The personal trainer at the gym advised me to try some resistance training. So far it's going really well.

I've resisted going to the gym for six days now.

Oliver has been living the dream

Two old friends caught up for lunch. Jake and Oliver hadn't seen each other for over twenty years. "How have you been?" Oliver asked.
"I've been good" Jake said, ordering from the menu. "I'm married with two great kids. Work is a bit dull but it pays the bills. How about you, how have you been...

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I really made my spouse angry when I opened the shower curtain and yelled "peek a boobs!"

He says he's been going to the gym and I really need to be more supportive.

Apparently, exercise improves your decision making.

It's true. After going to the gym today I've decided I'm never going again.

Buffalo Tattoo (bad joke)

I've recently started going to the gym so I can have big arm muscles but I'm thinking of quitting and just getting a buffalo tattoo instead. That way when I wave to people it can still be a buff hello .

Told this to my coworker today

Coworker tells me he has been going to the gym lately. Said last night he did 30 minutes on the stationary bike. I told him that's never gonna get you anywhere.

A man goes to heaven and is greeted by an angel who shows him around the place

"Over there is a local restaurant, it's guaranteed to have your favorite meal there" said the angel

"And over there is a theater, and to the left, there's a swimming pool"

The angel soon finishes the tour and finds that the man is overjoyed.

The angel had one more thing to say t...

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