UPJOKE

God Of Jokes

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Who is the Greek god of fertility?

Testicles

You heard what the Norse God of Thunder said to the girl after the orgy?

He said, “Hi, I’m Thor.”

She replied, “You’re thor? I’m tho thor I could hardly pith.”

I found a cult of people that worship the god of violence

Their beliefs are just wack

The God of Thunder Took a Ride Upon His Favourite Philly

The god of thunder took a ride upon his favourite Philly. “I’m Thor!” he cried, and the horse replied “cause you forgot your thaddle thilly!”

What happens when the God Of Thunder starts writing books?

He becomes an author.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is the name of the Greek god of sexually transmitted diseases?

Herpes (badumm tss)

What do you call the Greek God of Humour?

Hilarios.

What do we say to the God of Procrastination?

Not Today!

What did they call Norse god of lightning after he turned into gold and began writing books?

Author

Where does the god of lightning keep his warm food?

In a Thormos

What's the Hindu God of baking?

Ganache

How does the Norse God of mischief like to celebrate his birthday?

He likes to keep it low-key

Who is the Egyptian god of surprise?

RA!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What nickname did the Olympians give to the newly ascended god of masturbation

Jerkules

What do you call the Tibetan God of Regret?

The Shoulda Coulda Woulda Buddha.

How can you tell the God of thunder is European?

He still has his thorskin

What do we say to the God of Death?

Would you like Freys with that?

Why did Loki, Norse God of Trickery and Mischief, turn into a train?

I asked around and, well, no one really understands his Loki-motives.

Why could the god of thunder not speak well after he got his wisdom teeth pulled...

Because he was too Thor.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Avengers were on a mission to save the Egyptian god of the sun.

Thanos, with the help of the Reality Stone, turned the god into a baby and usurped his powers. As he was about to kill him, in the nick of time, the Avengers showed up.

Diving forward, Captain America managed to snatch away the baby while Thanos was busy with his monologue. Realizing this, T...

What do we say to the god of Def ?

"Agnaghha gaggahgah"... Sorry I was thinking out loud

The God of the Sun has burnt millions and millions of people...

... But that's ok, because he Apollo-gized.

How do you pray the god of war in a naval battle?

You warship it

Thor the God of Thunder

So Thor, the God of Thunder, is sitting on his cloud on Asgard when he suddenly wants to visit the humans. He jumps on his magical flying horse and rides down to them. When he gets there he proclaims, "I AM THOR!" to which his horse replies, "Well, that's because you forgot your thaddle thilly."

The god of thunder rides to the top of the mountain atop his noble steed.

Upon reaching the summit, he gets off his horse, raises his hammer to the sky and yells, "I am Thor!"

The horse turns around and says, "That'th cuth you forgot your thaddle thilly!"

I don't enjoy winning against The God of Thunder...

He is always a Thor loser.

Before he was the God of Time, Chronos had an older brother who filled that role, but he was always behind time, so his people decapitated him.

They'd give him a second chance, but now he's a head of time.

Quentin Crisp Quote

“When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?”

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