God and Satan arranged a basketball game between Heaven and Hell.
"I know for a fact we are gonna win," said God. "We have all the best players up here...Wilt Chamberlain, Moses Malone, Kobe Bryant, and so on."
"I wouldn't count on that, God," said Satan. "You see, down here, *we* have all the referees."
The battle between God and Satan.
An engineer dies and is accidentally sent to hell
Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements.
After a while, they’ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty p...
Joel Osteen, God and Satan walk into a bar
Never mind, the bars closed because Joel Osteen got a Four million dollar bailout and the bar didn’t.
God and Satan were having an argument one day about baseball.
Satan proposed a game to be played on neutral grounds between a select team from the heavenly host and his own hand-picked boys."Very well," said God . "But you realize, I hope, that we've got all the good players and the best coaches.""I know, and that's all right," Satan answered unperturbed. "We'...
Two little boys stole a big bag of oranges from a neighbor and decided to go to a quiet place to share the lot equally.
Two little boys stole a big bag of oranges from a neighbor and decided to go to a quiet place to share the lot equally. One of them suggested the nearby cemetery. As they were jumping over the gate to enter the cemetery, two oranges fell out of the big bag but they didn't bother to pick them up sinc...
A politician who did absolutely nothing good or bad in his life died... God and Satan are discussing what to do with him. God says "He's done nothing great in his life, so he cant possibly go to heaven."
Satan responds "Well, he did nothing to deserve eternal damnnation either." So they let the man spend one day in each heaven and hell to decide where he wanted to spend eternity. In heaven, the politician spends the entire time sitting in a comfortable chair, fighting to stay awake as angels f...
The walnut tree (idk what to put for title lol)
One day, Johnny and his friend Bobby walked into the cemetery. There were a lot of fallen walnuts from the walnut tree that they wanted to share. They started splitting them and Johnny said "One for you, one for me! One for you, one for me!"
At this time, a little boy was biking along the roa...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A politician dies...
A politician dies and finds himself in the presence of both God and Satan.
They explain him that, after carefully counting and recounting all his good and evil actions throughout his life, there’s a tie. As this is an unusual situation that, somehow, has never happened up to this point, they ...
COVID-19 plagues a rural country town in the States.
Lockdowns have been imposed, and the infection rate is rising fast. An overweight and diabetic anti-masker is standing on the steps of the church, going against lockdown procedures, when a bystander coming from the grocery store walks by. “Better return home man, the infection rate is rising fast!”<...
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