UPJOKE

Getting Wasted Jokes

Here's a joke about a terrible cable car operator

So there was this man who had only one ambition in his life: he wanted to live in San Francisco and drive cable cars. So he moved there, and studied, and took a test to become a cable car driver. He failed. Studied some more, took the test again. Again he failed. Finally, on the third attempt, he pa...

Somethings You Can't Explain.

So a farmer walks into a bar and orders 15 shots.
The bartender asks "why are you getting wasted on such a beautiful day"
The farmer replies "Somethings you can't explain to your wife.."
The Bartender says" well you can try explain to me"
The farmer sighs and says
"You see I was milki...

The Exam

Three Highschool Sr's decided to blow off their final exam for their logic class, and spend the day getting wasted.

When they returned to class the next day they explained to the professor that they were unable to get to class the day before due to a flat tire and no cell phone coverage in th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender he's short on cash. He proposes that he plays the piano in exchange for some drinks.

The bartender agrees and the guy walks over to the piano and starts playing. The bartender and patrons are amazed at the beautiful sounds that are produced from this old piano. He plays several songs in a row. After about 20 minutes he walks up to the bartender and asks if that was worthy of a drink...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Special

Two buddies are out at a bar swapping stories and getting wasted.

Just as last call is signaled, one of them remarks to the other, "You know, Jon, its been a long time since I really gave it to a woman. I mean, just really let her have it, you know?" He pounded his fist into his palm lightly...

I accidentally spilled my bottle of rum on the floor.

I was let down because I thought I'd be the one getting wasted.

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