UPJOKE

Getting Pregnant Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant

But apparently it just changes the colour of the baby

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Success is like getting pregnant

Everyone congratulates you,

But no one asks how many times you got fucked.

Why doesn't the vampire's girlfriend worry about getting pregnant?

Vampires need permission to come inside.

Irony is getting pregnant...

on a pull-out couch.

What's the second most effective thing you can swallow to avoid getting pregnant?

Birth control pills

Why did the woman have trouble getting pregnant?

She didn’t follow da erections.

My wife suggested that to spice things up in the bedroom, we should try the "other hole"

I said "no way", don't want her getting pregnant again.

"So how did you end up getting pregnant ?"

" well those camouflage condoms my boyfriend used didn't work ".

Everybody’s getting pregnant around here.

People saying “Something must be in the air”.

Well duhh... Them legs!

People keep congratulating me on my wife getting pregnant again...

Now only if I could find the guy that did it.

After getting a vasectomy a guy complains to his buddy that they don't work since his wife still keeps getting pregnant.

The buddy says "mine didn't work either, it just made the babies come out black"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I had sex with a girl at an apple orchid and she ended up getting pregnant...

It's probably because I came in cider.

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