UPJOKE

Getting Paid Jokes

I heard people are getting paid to mention companies and do product placement in their Reddit posts!

That's almost as crazy as the discounts at Jez's Furniture Emporium. Sale this weekend

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is it called, when a prostitute finds out she is not getting paid, but still finishes the job?

Sunk cost fallatio

I’m getting paid a lot to shut down Zoom calls...

Now I’m making ends meet by making meets end!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Working from home is great! I’m basically getting paid $30 / hr to play Mario kart and have sex with my wife!

That’s like $3 per race and $0.50 every time I have sex!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into his bedroom to see his wife, packing a bag....

What are you doing ? He asked....


“I’m off to New York City” she replied “I hear prostitutes are getting paid $400 doing what I do to you for free!”


Husband begins packing his bags too.

“What are you doing? Asked his wife

“I’m coming with you” he said “I want to s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Working in porn for the free sex is like working at Chipotle for the free burritos

Yeah, you're getting paid, but it destroys your asshole

A man with no arms is homeless and looking for a job.

He goes to the pastor in his local church one morning and says:
"Pastor, I am in desperate need of work. Is there any kind of job you can give me, despite my obvious disability?"
The pastor, with a cheeky grin, points to the churches bell tower and says:
"You see that bell up in the tower? ...

What did the racist serial killer say to the cop?

“Wait, you’re getting paid?”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a Youtuber and a hooker?

Both are getting fucked, but the hooker's still getting paid.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An exotically dressed prostitute is perusing the meat section of the supermarket, looking perplexed.

The butcher walks over to her and asks, “Can I help you find something?”

The prostitute explains that she while she was selecting some chicken to grill, she realized she wasn’t sure if the meat was from a hen or rooster.

Surprised, the butcher replies, “You know, I’d never considered...

Nine of ten doctors agree:

Getting paid to endorse things is awesome

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