UPJOKE

My flatmate is a drummer and his practicing has been getting on my nerves

I told him that if he didn't stop, there'd be repercussions.

These days my boss has been getting on my nerves. See I'm a brick layer and he is always yelling to layer the bricks faster and faster...

These days everyone wants instant stratification.

I got a third degree burn the other day

Needless to say it was getting on my nerves

Julius Caesar and Marcus Brutus are at the airport

Brutus: “Which is our boarding gate Caesar?”
Caesar: “A-2 Brutus”

Brutus: “And what time is the flight Caesar?”
Caesar: “8:02 Brutus”

Brutus: “By the way, I have sandwiches. Do you want one Caesar?”
Caesar: “Ate two Brutus”

Brutus: “This is an unusual paper size for a t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bakery in Pakistan

A guy named Sarim works at a bakery in Karachi, Pakistan. As a gopher, he is obligated to serve the baker. One day the baker says "Sam, go and get me a bag of flour." Sam goes to get the bag and puts it on his head. Unfortunately the bag breaks and covers him from head to toe. Dejected, he walks bac...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A joke made in Spain about the church, and as such, full of profanity and blasphemy. Enjoy

So a catholic priest is waiting in the confessional, and suddenly a man with the body of a mountain who rides comes in:

-Forgive me, father, for I've sinned.

+Tell me your sins, my son.

-Well, father, it all started on Monday, when I was fixing the kitchen sink and I got up too ...

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