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gonnasaid

Getcha Jokes

A guy runs into a saloon and yells "everybody clear out, Big John's comin' to town!"

A couple minutes later a mountain of a man rides into town on an ox and he's dragging a mountain lion on a chain behind him. He gets down and punches the ox and slams the mountain lion and says "You guys stay here."

He walks into the saloon, ripping the doors off the hinges. Walks up to the b...

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The bats will get ya

One day, a man walks into a bar in Florida. He asks the bartender for a beer, to which he replies

"Sorry, can't do that, the bats'll getcha."

Confused but sober, the man decides to drive a mile down the road to the next bar. He walks in and asks the bartender for a beer.

"S...

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A man is wakes up in a strange place...

And the only landmark is a fence. Seeing as he has no idea where he is, he follows the fence hopin there is a phone or something to help him get out of there. As he's following the fence, he starts noticing how beautifully made it is. Exceptional woodworking, perfectly complimentary staining, etc. H...

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An Irishman walks into a cozy Brooklyn pub....

And he nods to the bartender.

"What can I getcha?"

The Irishman says, "Three pints of Guinness please."

"Sure thing, I'll pour this first one, just lemme know when you're ready for beer number two."

"No, no," says the Irishman, "If it's not a problem, just pour all three...

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So a duck walks into a bar

DUCK hey

BARTENDER Holy shit, you can speak?

DUCK Yeah, I can sing tenor opera too goddammit, you wanna pick your jaw of the goddam bar and get me a cold beer an a cheese sam'ich?

BARTENDER Sure thing, sorry, comin' right up. So, ah, you new around here?

DUCK Yeah I'm jus...

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