As i see a homeless man asking for some money and i wonder, should i really let money get wasted on drugs?...

Nah i better give them to this homeless guy

What do sad people drink when they want to get wasted?

A Despairados.

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A tourist in Mexico goes into a bar to get wasted

It’s his last week on vacation and one of the things on his bucket list to do is basically to drink until he is completely wasted. As the night prolongs, he notices little by little the bar begins to empty. The bartender in his best English that he can muster says to him, “Señor, I think you should ...

When there is some wine leftover from communion, it doesn't get wasted...

The vicar does.

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Its Friday after work and Joe's co-worker wants to go get some beers.

"No way" says Joe. "Last time I came home drunk, my wife was so upset she said she would leave me if I ever get wasted again."

"Cmon" says the co-worker. "Drinks are on me" And after a little more coercing, Joe finally gives in and goes out drinking with his buddy.

They stay until ...

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A night out with 1$ [NSFW ?]

Two men only have a dollar for their night out and they want to get wasted.

So they go into a night shop and buy a sausage. The first bar they go in they order 2 beers each.

When they decide to leave, one takes out the sausage and places it between his legs. The other bends over and ...

Life is ..

Life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life.

Get wasted all the time, and you'll have the time of your life!

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The only good joke I know, and it's about blind people

Two guys are walking their dogs and come across a bar. One of them smiles. "shit yeah, let's get wasted!" he says. The other guy isn't sure. "I dunno, man. I don't want to leave my dog outside around these parts." "Dude, relax. Just follow my lead."

The first guy puts on some sunglasses, then...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy is drinking in a bar...

After his last drink, he tries to stand up and falls. He starts crawling out of the bar.
He crawls out of the bar, he crawls in the street, trying to hold on to something, but each time he falls and he just keeps crawling home.
He crawls up his stairs, he crawls to his bedroom, and finally he...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So these 2 guys are pretty studious.

They both study pretty hard. Finals are the next day, so they make plans to have a study session. Their teacher is very strict, and says anyone late to class will fail. However, they hear of a party going on. They know they should study, but they can’t reisist a good party.

Predictably,...

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A joke that is too long and doesn't have a punchline walks into a bar.

He looked a bit gloomy. The bartender decides not to comment on this at first and just asks: "What can I get you?" The joke replies: "A beer please" - "ok, coming up". The bartender proceeds to take a glass out of the shelf and pours the joke a nice and cold beer. "Here you go". - "Thanks".

A...

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Old enough to serve, not old enough to be served: the Army and Alcohol

There was a thread a while back where a pun thread took off; it was about the moral hypocrisy of being allowed to put your life at risk fighting in war, while simultaneously not being allowed to drink alcohol.

While I detest most pun threads, this one seemed entertaining to me for some reason...

So a man and a giraffe walk into a bar....

They each get wasted, the giraffe falls over.
The man goes to leave but the bartender says "oi! you cant leave that lyin there!"
The man says... "Its not a lion... its a giraffe."

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