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Get Some Rest Jokes

Farting Issues

Patient: Doctor, every time I pass gas, the room fills up with smoke and stinks of petrol. What's wrong with me?

Doctor: Get some rest. You're just exhausted.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three guys are knocking on heavens door. (Sorry for my english)

After a few minutes Petrus comes, wearing his cozy pyjamas, saying: "Guys its late, i need to get some rest, we are closed for today."
"Ehm Petrus", one man replied, "we are kinda dead so please open the door."
Petrus sighs. "Ok, each one of you tells me the story of his death, and if ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman was in bed with her husband.

Every night, the husband farts in his sleep. His farts were so loud and disgusting that, most nights, she couldn't sleep at night.

One day, she tries to tell him "honey, please stop farting in bed. It's hard to sleep when just as I'm about to get some rest I hear this sudden *POOMPH* from yo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man and a pickle slicer

A man works at a factory. One day, he goes to see his doctor.
"Listen Doc, I have to be honest. Recently I've been wanting to stick my dick in the pickle slicer at work."
The Doctor, shocked, says "Wh-Why? No, don't do that!"
"But it's just so tempting."
"Listen, just get some rest, go t...

A man was sunbathing naked at a beach... (Long)

He was reading a newspaper and lying down on the sand. He saw a little girl come over so he covered his crotch with the paper he was reading. The girl walked up to him and asked, "What do you have under the newspaper?".
He responded, "It's a little bird but it's sleeping, so can you please go ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Drunk farmer

It's late at night and the drunk farmer comes into the house after a long day of work and a trip to the local pub. He stumbles home and enters his house. His wife is already fast asleep in their bedroom. The drunk farmer stumbles in abruptly, banging off the walls and knocking his wife's trinkets ov...

Unfaithful Husband

A wife was beginning to suspect that her husband had become unfaithful, coming home at odd hours of the night with the excuse that he was out playing cards with friends.


One night the couple had plans for a masquerade party, but as the husband was getting ready the wife mentioned that she...

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