Why doesn't Mrs. Clean get pregnant?

Because Mr. Clean comes in a bottle.

Why does Barbie never get pregnant?

Why does Barbie never get pregnant?

Because Ken ‘comes’ in another box.

How did Dairy Queen get pregnant?

Burger King forgot to wrap his Whopper.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman asks her doctor if she can get pregnant from anal sex

He answers, "Sure. Where do you think lawyers come from?"

I got a vasectomy so my wife wouldn't get pregnant.

But apparently all it does is change the color of the baby

I have my wife to thank for this one: Why can't witches get pregnant?

Because their husbands have hallow-weenies!

A couple want to have children but the wife can't get pregnant

A couple want to have children but the wife can't get pregnant
...so they go to see a priest for advice. The priest tells them they came at the right time, since his superior just sent him to Rome for 10 years, and he's leaving tomorrow.
'As soon as I'll get there, I'll immediately light a...

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I always love good breakfast food after trying to get pregnant.

Eggs Benedict to remind myself my eggs been dicked.

I’ll see myself out.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Can a bullet get pregnant?

Fuck a round and find out.

Why did the dinosaurs girlfriend get pregnant?

Because they did it rawr.

Why was the girl amazed at her ability to get pregnant from the world's smallest man?

Because she didn't know she had it in her.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What piece of furniture are you least likely to get pregnant on?

A pull out couch.

How did the Mexican girl get pregnant?

Her teacher told her to do an essay!

A newly wed woman says to her friend "i gotta be careful not to get pregnant"

Friend: Didn't your husband get a vasectomy?
Woman: Precisely

Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant

Their legs

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There was a farmer who wanted his sheep to get pregnant

However, he hadn't got a male sheep, so he asked a friend what could he do. His friend told him to take the sheep to the mountain, fuck them himself and wait to the next day. If the next day they were placed in the sun, they were pregnant, of they were placed in the shade, they weren't pregnant.
...

Why did none of the girls at Hogwarts ever get pregnant?

Fetus Deletus!

How do resistance fighters get pregnant?

Rebel scum

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did King Arthur's wife never get pregnant?

His pull out game was legendary!

"If you get pregnant, I won't stick around"

Me: If you get pregnant, I won't stick around

Gf: Honey, that joke's not funny anymore, you had your vasectomy like 5yrs ago

Me: I mean it, mark my words!

“How did you get pregnant ?”

Well those camouflage condoms my boyfriend used didn’t work

When is the worst time to get pregnant?

When youre in a coma

How do you get pregnant from a computer?

You get Raspberry cream m pi-d

My wife is a forensic crime scene investigator, but she refuses to get pregnant.

No one puts baby in a coroner.

A young couple couldn't get pregnant.

A young couple couldn't get pregnant. They tried everything so the wife could conceive including going to the fertility doctor, but nothing worked. Finally, at church one Sunday they asked their priest for advice. The priest told them to go to the Vatican and light a candle. Several years later, the...

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After years of trying a Chinese couple, the Wong's, finally get pregnant. With much anticipation Mrs. Wong delivers a beautiful Hispanic baby boy..

Mr. Wong names him Sum Ting.

Can you get pregnant from sitting on a toilet seat?

Yes, if you sit down before the guy in front of you is finished.

Can't get pregnant

Stacy: I have to be very careful, i just can't get pregnant now.

Tiffany: Didn't your husband get a vasectomy?

Stacy: Exactly!

Why is it so easy for girls in the navy to get pregnant?

Because there's so many seamen.

Why couldn't the witch get pregnant?

The husband had a Hallo-Weenie

A lot of couples get pregnant entirely by accident.

It's a pretty common misconception.

Many people think you can't get pregnant when using the pull-out method...

But that's a missed conception

Why did all the Mexican girls get pregnant on spring break?

Their teacher told them to go home and do two essays.

How did Little Debby get pregnant?

She fell into a box of Ding Dongs

How did the blind girl accidentally get pregnant?

As careful as she tried to be, she could never have seen him coming

A girl tells a guy that she can't get pregnant...

...turns out that he wasn't lying.

Why did the Amish woman get pregnant?

Because she was seeing too many Mennonite.

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