Get Lucky Jokes - 27 Hilarious Get Lucky Jokes

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Sometimes gonna get lucky tonight!

A woman has a pet parrot and every time she brings home a date the parrot says “Someone’s going to get lucky tonight!” The woman is embarrassed by this so she takes the parrot to the vet, she explains and the vet tells her the parrot is lonely and needs a mate. The woman then goes to the pet store a...

Christmas joke (NSFW)

A 17 year old male walks into a drug store. He says "I've been invited to Christmas dinner at my new girlfriend's house. Afterwards I hope there is a chance I get lucky, you know what I mean"

Clerk: "How about condoms then? They could come in handy. Here's a pack." The young man after paying...

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Paddy tries to get lucky

A petrol station owner in Dublin was trying to increase his sales, so he put up a sign that read, "Free Sex with Every Fill-Up."

Paddy pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10, and said that if he guessed correctly, he would get ...

I wish I could get lucky with banks as I am with women.

Women always offer a 0% interest rate.

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A man notices his wife’s butt is getting big...

“I bet your butt is as big as my grill.”

His wife rolls her eyes, but he gets a tape measure, measures her bottom, measures the grill, and teases her that they’re about the same size.

That night, he tries to see if he can get lucky. “Not tonight,” says his wife.

He asks her why ...

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You can always get lucky on new years day by reminding your lover

We haven't had sex all year.

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Hoping to get lucky

I reached my hands round my wife in bed last night and started groping at her breasts.

"Ooh," she giggled. "Trying to get lucky, are you?"

"Sure am," I replied. "But I haven't found a lump yet."

I thought I was about to get lucky in Thailand

A lass it was not to be

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms.

The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. "Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out, and...

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A lady had lost her husband almost four years ago. Her daughter was constantly calling her to get back into the dating world. Finally, she said she'd go out, but didn't know anyone. Her daughter immediately replied, "Mom, I have someone for you to meet!

Well, it was an immediate hit.

They took to one another and after dating for six weeks, he asked her to join him for a weekend in Spain.

Their first night there, she undressed as he did.

There she stood nude, except for a pair of black panties, he in his birthday suit.

Lo...

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A leper goes down town and tried to get lucky

He meets a prostitute and asked her how much for two hours, she replies saying

"Oh honey it's usually 30 bucks but looking at how you are that'll be around 55 dollars no offense."

"Okay that's fine."

So after two hours when everything is all said and done. She asks for the cash ...

little johnny finally got to the third date....

and knowing the reputation of the girl he was seeing, knew that he would "get lucky" on this one... so off to the drug store he goes to get a condom.
"i got a hot date tonight and i need a condom!" he tells the employee there, who hands it over almost immediately...
"that'll be a dollar,...

Buying Condoms....

A sixty year old man walks into a drug store and walks up to the girl at the checkout counter. He asks her, "Do you sell condoms here?"

"Sure. What size are you?"

"I don't know," he replies.

"Well, just let me check," the cashier says. She unzips his pants, takes a feel, and the...

“Why do you keep that condom with you all the time?”

“It’s my lucky condom. Every time I wear it I get lucky.”

Daft Punk calls it quits

Maybe if we get lucky, they will get together one more time.

I went on a date with a girl who was clearly out of my league.

But she'd heard that I was going to see a movie she wanted to see, and we made a date of it.

On the way over I thought I might get lucky so I went to the drug store and bought a box of condoms.

When I stopped at her house, her family invited me to dinner. I asked if I could say the b...

Keep praying young man.

A young man goes into a pharmacy and tells the pharmacist, “Could you give me a condom? I’m going to my girlfriend’s house for dinner and I might get lucky!” The pharmacist gives him the condom, but as the young man is going out, he returns and says: “Give me another condom. My girlfriend’s sister i...

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Big Hickey

A married man decided to work late to be with his sexy secretary, so he called his wife to make up an excuse. After work he invited his secretary to dinner. It soon became obvious that he was going to get lucky, so the two went back to her apartment and had great sex for two hours. Afterward the fel...

I have a dog named Lucky...

Sometimes he escapes so we have to go get Lucky.

And sometimes it'll be dark out so we'll be up all night to get Lucky.

A man walks into a pharmacy to buy some condoms

The pharmacist takes note and says “Big night tonight eh?”

The man responds “Yeah, meeting the new girls’ parents for dinner tonight and I’m trying to get lucky.”

He heads to his girlfriend’s house later that night and sits down before eating to pray.

And pray

And pr...

Posting a joke on a Reddit is like going in a bar.

Sometimes you get lucky, but most of the time you just lose your self esteem

My wife went away for the weekend

So I did what any handsome stud would do. I went to the pub/bar. I proceeded to go from barstool to barstool trying to get lucky. But, you know what? I didn’t find any gum underneath any of them.

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Rescued at last...

A man has been stranded on a deserted island for years before he is found. On the helicopter ride back to civilization, a rescuer asks him where he wants to go first.
The man says, "After all this time, there is only one thing I want. A woman!"
The rescuer responds, "The best I can do it t...

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A junior journalist is given his first article

For this, she was asked to make the best-possible artivle abut a little town near the city where the newspaper is located.

She went to the town decided to make her best with this, and even create a great article, but no one is on the streets.

She kept walking on and on, and finally mee...

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Sharon was bored at home with her boyfriend Andrew.

"Andrew, I'm sick of just sitting at home doing nothing. Let's go out for lunch to that nice restaurant." Sharon said.

"That sounds like a great idea", replied Andrew. "BUT... I've already organised to do some gaming with some friends today."

"There is always A BUT! You never put any e...

A father is explain the importance of condoms to his son

A father is in the local drug store explains the importance of condoms to his son.

The son asks “Dad, why are there difference size packs of condoms?”

The father replies “They have different uses. Why don’t you point to a few and I’m explain when people need them?”

The son point...

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A woman is sitting alone at a bar when a man approaches her and asks her "Do you wash your pannts with Windex?"

"Uh... no. Why?"

"Because I can see myself in them".

She rolls her eyes, dismisses him and goes back to her drink. A few minutes later another man approaches her. "Do you have a map?"

"Ugh, let me guess... you're getting lost in my eyes? Sorry, heard it before." Dejected, ...

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