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Get Hurt Jokes

What do pigs use when they get hurt?

Oink-ment

(My 7 year old made this up and wanted me to share!)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

“If you don’t do it you might regret it” said the heart. “But you might get hurt” spoke the brain. “We think you should go for it” said the guts

“Just what the HELL was that?!?” protested the anus.

My dad just got a tall new grill and I’m worried he’ll get hurt trying to use it.

The steaks have never been higher.

What do windows feel when they get hurt?

Pane!

2 men go fishing, One has a stutter

The man with a stutter says “shh ssshhh sshh”. The other man says “what is it, did you catch a fish”? The stuttering man continues to make ssshhh noises, the other man says “spit it out”. The stuttering man says “ssshhh ship!!” Before the 2nd man can react a ship crashes into their boat.

M...

2 Guys walk into a bar

Which was pretty dumb seeing that the second guy saw the first guy get hurt

A wife sits by her ill husband's bedside

Husband: You have been there whenever I get hurt

Wife: I know!

Husband: through every illness

Wife: yes

Husband: Whenever anything goes wrong

Wife: of course

Husband: I think...

Wife: tell me

Husband: I think you are bad luck

Ten little Indians..

Ten little Indians jumping on a bed,

one fell off and didn't get hurt because here on the res our mattresses are on the floor.

Little Mary is riding a train with her grandma

Suddenly, Mary opens the window and leans out.
,,Watch out Mary, you might get hurt by tree branches." says grandma.
Mary replies,,Don't worry grandma, there are no trees, just co-co-co-co-co-co-concrete pillars."

What do vending machines, explosives and a cross-eyed seeing two people have in common?

C4, and there's a chance someone might get hurt.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A new bloke starts works on a building site...

He meets his new workmates and they head up to the roof to start work.
One of the workers picks up a pile of bricks and steps off the edge of the building falling 10 stories and landing safely at the bottom.
He takes the elevator back to the top and keeps working.
No one seems to even bat a...

A large sinkhole opens up on a small town road.

Many people fall into it and get hurt and it's difficult to get them all to the hospital.

The mayor gathers the city council to figure out a solution. The smartest city councilor suggests they park an ambulance next to the hole to get people to the hospital faster. The rest unanimously agree....

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