UPJOKE

Get Fired Jokes

Why did Eminem get fired from his job as a bartender?

He kept telling people “You only get one shot”

Why did the Pepsi executive get fired?

He tested positive for Coke.

Why did the Buddhist coroner get fired?

He kept listing the cause of death as birth.

Why did the calendar maker get fired from his job?

He took a day off

Why did the hitman get fired?

He was a-sassin his boss.

Why did the producer of Dirty Jobs get fired?

He was a Mike Rowe manager.

Why did Billy get fired from the banana factory?

He kept throwing out the bent ones.

Why did the grizzly get fired from his job?

He was only doing the bear minimum.....

Yes I know where the door is.....

Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?

Lack of concentration.

Why did Pinocchio and Cinderella get fired from Disney?

Cinderella was caught sitting on Pinocchio’s face yelling “lie to me!”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the blacksmith get fired....

He smelt like shit, and made a forgery.

A guy looking to get fired calls his boss and says, “Hey boss, what’s the difference between your daughter and tomorrow?”

I’m not coming in tomorrow.

Why did the architect get fired for his library design?

Because It only had one Story.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the employee at the lightbulb factory get fired?

He told his supervisor to lighten the fuck up.

TIL subway workers can get fired for messing up one sandwich.

Whoops, wrong sub.

Why did the guitar teacher get fired?

Because he fingered A minor

Why did the DJ get fired from the chemistry lab?

They kept dropping the base.

My garbage man might get fired.

I really hope he isn’t canned.

Why did the parole officer get fired?

He got Bill Cosby a job as a bartender

Working at an unemployment office must be so tense.

Even if you get fired, you still have to come in the next day.

Why did the cross eyed teacher get fired?

She couldn't control her pupils

Why did Eazy-E get fired from Burger King?

Because he wouldn't wrap his Whopper.

Who's next in line to get fired?

Doesn't Faucci matter, they'll get rehired.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It’s extra important sexual abusers get fired quickly from the work place.

Otherwise, they start rubbing off on people.

Why did the guy get fired from the hardware store?

He asked a female customer if she needed caulking.

Why did the vegan get fired ?

His job performance did not meat expectations.

Why did the crab get fired?

Because he was not moving the company forward.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did Bob get fired from his job at the dildo factory?

Because he got caught sitting on the job.

Why did the medieval bank teller get fired?

He gave them no quarter

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the female pornstar get fired from her job?

She had a fap sheet a mile long!

Why’d the mortician get fired?

For sleeping around the office

What’s the easiest, yet longest way to get fired?

Say something controversial on Twitter and wait 5 years.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the ex-pornstar get fired from his job at the gas station?

As soon as the tank was full, he’d rip out the nozzle and spray gas all over the car.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the T-rex get fired?

Sexual Jurassment

Why did the nercophiliac-narcoleptic funeral director get fired?

Because he fell asleep in the job.

Why did Jesus Christ get fired from the kosher deli?

Because he Cross contaminated all the food

Why did the lumberjack get fired for being on Reddit?

Because he didn’t log out

Why did the head banker get fired?

He just lost interest in the job

It sucks when people make one mistake and get fired.

A very sad day today. After SEVEN years of training in the medical field and hard work, a very good friend of mine was fired after one minor indiscretion. He slept with one of his clients and can no longer work in the profession. What a waste of time, effort, training and money. A genuinely nice gu...

Why did the lumberjack get fired for cutting down too many trees?

He saw too much

Why did Mario get fired from being a plumber?

He never put his caulk away.

Why did the Hamburger Helper get fired from the restaurant?

Because he was Stroganoff on the job!

Why did the doctor get fired from their side job at Starbucks?

They kept making the customers turn their head and coffee.

Why did Peter Parker get fired?

He spent all day on the web.

Why did the worker on the egg farm get fired from his job?

Because he had a crack addiction.

Why did the sailor get fired for cleaning the deck?

....he went overboard...

Why did Verizon's mailman get fired?

He was losing packets.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

why did both ass-cheeks get fired from work?

One was always left behind causing the other to half-ass everything

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did Ms. Frizzle get fired from teaching Sex Ed?

She told the class to take chances, make mistakes, and get messy.

Why did the Pakistani cook get fired?

He could only cook eggs Sunni side up and, honestly, they tasted like Shi'ite.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why didn't the saxophone get fired from his teaching job after multiple accusations of sexual assault?

he was a tenure sax

Why did Rick Astley get fired from his job at the video store?

Because he refused to rent someone a copy of the Pixar flick "Up".

Why did OP get fired from his job as a mailman?

He never delivered.

Why did the DJ get fired as a waiter?

Because he'd drop everything

Why did the meatball chef get fired from the middle school cafeteria?

They caught him stroganoff.

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