Get A Vasectomy Jokes - 18 Hilarious Get A Vasectomy Jokes

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My friend asked me, “Is sex weird after you get a vasectomy?”

I said, “I don’t notice a vas deferens.”

My wife wanted me to get a Vasectomy

Since we were both on our late 30 and we were not planning on having more children

I told her: “but what if 10-15 years from now something happens to you And I remarry with a much younger woman? She would want children wouldn’t she”?

Now I don’t need a Vasectomy, the kick was hard enou...

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Get a vasectomy...

If you've got the balls to do it

I went to the doctor to get a vasectomy.

The doctor said, "This a really big decision you know. Have you discussed it with your wife and kids?”

I said, "Yes, they’re in favor 14 to 3.."

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I told my doctor I want to get a vasectomy.

He said with a face like mine, I don’t need one.

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I went to get a vasectomy...

.. because I didn't want children. But when I got home, they were still there

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Most people say it’s not too bad to get a vasectomy.

I got one yesterday and it really hurt. I guess there’s a Vas Deference between people’s responses to the procedure.

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Redneck vasectomy

After the birth of their 9th child, a redneck couple decided they'd had enough because they couldn’t afford a larger bed. The husband went to the veterinarian and asked to be snipped. "Me'n my cousin don't want no more kids"

The vet told him he could get a vasectomy, but it was expensive. "Th...

"Doctor, I've decided to get a vasectomy"

The doctor said, "Mr. Smith, this is a serious decision. Have you talked it over with your wife and children?"

"Oh, yes," Mr. Smith replied. "They're in favor of it 15 to 2."

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My wife wants to prove she's brave enough to get a vasectomy...

I told her she doesn't have the balls to do it.

Wife told me if I really didn’t want anymore kids to get a vasectomy

All it did was change the color of our next one.

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My wife and kids want me to get a vasectomy so they took a vote...

...I lost 13 votes to 12.

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My wife told me to get a vasectomy to stop her from getting pregnant.

But it turns out it just made our baby black.

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Southern man getting a Vasectomy, no not the cherry bomb joke.

A man from the southern US goes to the doctor to get a vasectomy. He wears his finest 3 piece suit with his best shoes. When the nurse is getting him ready she asks him why he's dressed so fancy. The man replies, "Well heck, if I'ma be impotent, I'ma look impo'tant too."

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A newly wed woman says to her friend "i gotta be careful not to get pregnant"

Friend: Didn't your husband get a vasectomy?
Woman: Precisely

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Can't get pregnant

Stacy: I have to be very careful, i just can't get pregnant now.

Tiffany: Didn't your husband get a vasectomy?

Stacy: Exactly!

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Did you hear about the redneck couple with 9 kids?

The dad went to the doctor to get a vasectomy and the doctor asked him why. 'Well, we read that 1 out of 10 babies born in the US now are Mexican, and we don't want to take a chance on having a Mexican baby because neither the wife nor I speak Spanish'.

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Alabama Vasectomy

One day a man from Alabama was arguing with his wife and she wanted him to get a vasectomy. So he reluctantly went to the doctor and upon hearing the cost $6500. He said he isn't paying that as he could buy a used fishing boat for that price. So he went to another doctor hoping to get a lower price...

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