Funeral Services Jokes

That's the last thing I need!

Funeral services are being held today at 4:25, 5:40, 7:10 and 9:45

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?" "98," she replied. "Two years older than me." "So you're 96," the undertaker commented. She responded, "Hardly worth going home is it?"

At the reception, the old folks always came to me telling: "You're next! You're next!"

This suddenly stopped after I started doing the same at funeral services.

One of the old men in town dies and it comes down to the new Rabbi to hold funeral services for the old man. He begins the service, but soon realizes he did not know the man at all so he has nothing to say. He says to the audience: "I am new to this town and I did not know this man's life, you here ... read more