UPJOKE
hedgegreekslatinbermudan optionnoxsiderealmorsatroposaltimetereroscorvusephemeristhanatosclockparallax

Fugit Jokes

Did you hear about the guy cutting limbs off of fugitives??

He's been accused arboring criminals...

What is a fugitive's favourite game?

RunEscape.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A fugitive is on the run and dips into a taqueria

He looks around the room and the only other patron is a Hispanic fellow with tats and a bandanna so he figures that the coast is clear and this is a good place to hide out for a while. The fugitive goes up to order some food when out of nowhere he gets tackled to the floor by the other patron! "Who ...

3 witch fugitives were cornered by police

The redhead yelled "AIR" and a gust of wind carried her to safety.

The brunette yelled "EARTH" and a tunnel to safety appeared underneath her.

The blonde yelled "FIRE" so the police did.

How many fugitives does it take to fix a light bulb?

1/3

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The body of an homosexual, existentialist fugitive was found in a motel 2 years after the case went cold.

Across an entire wall the words "How do they know" were scrawled, surrounded by places and names connected by bits of string.
The police investigated this, but they couldn't decipher it beyond the ravings of a madman.

The body was found in front of a computer after people at the motel repo...

What do you call a fugitive, talking down to you while fleeing down the stairs?

a condescending con descending.

I went to the mall and you know those people that set up their little shops? Well, there is a dwarf in a little hut, and he tells fortunes. Come to find out he is a fugitive and wanted for some crimes.

I guess that makes him a small medium at large...

The wisest of the mad

One day, the insane plan to escape from the asylum, and the wisest of the insane simply explains the plan as follows: They break down the first, second and third doors and say we are fugitives. The madmen wake up early in the morning and break the first and second doors, but when they realize that t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Various law enforcement agencies have a fugitive tracking competition. A forest is divided by high fences into 100-acre sections, a squirrel is released into each one, and the game begins.

The CIA fill their section with animal agents all wearing wires. After three months with no leads, they announce that the squirrel never really existed.

The FBI works for a month and gets no leads. They burn down the forest, positively ID the squirrel remains, and announce at a press conferen...

Tony Stark catching Nick Fury up on the events of Civil War

Tony: So anyway the Avengers broke up and Steve is a fugitive now.

Fury: Wait, are you serious?

Tony: No cap

How to speak Chinese

That's not right..................................Sum Ting Wong


Are you harbouring a fugitive?...............Hu Yu Hai Ding?


See me asap......................................Kum Hia Nao


Stupid man........................................Dum Gai


Small horse....

A piece of string breaks out of prison.

Just one mile out from crossing state lines, the piece of string sees a checkpoint up ahead.

Frantic and worried that he will be recognized, the bit of string hatches an idea for a disguise.

He starts by rolling around on the ground, to the point he becomes dirty and tattered.
Ne...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A priest was assigned to a new church

He was really stressed out during his first mass; he could barely speak to the people. Before his second mass, he visited his superior and asked him how to suppress his nervousness. His superior told him to add some vodka into his water and after a few sips, he'd immediatly feel more relaxed.
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two intelligence agencies and a law enforcement organisation enter a competition.

They are supposed to be tested who can capture a fugitive in the best way possible.
The first is the CIA. The organizers of the competition let a rabbit loose in a forest. The CIA enters and after 2 hours of complete silence they exit the forest with the rabbit in their hands.
Second enters t...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.