UPJOKE

Fruitcake Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young woman goes to the doctor.

The general doctor sits her down and asks her what's wrong.

"Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a fruitcake!"

The doctor wasn't sure how to respond.

"I see. What's gotten into you?"

"Raisins, butter, flour... All the usual ingredients!"

bread like fruitcakes, uneaten.

Onboard a naval ship, the sailors were turning in their food trays with everything eaten but the bread. This upset the mess officer who had baked the bread. When he asked if there was something wrong with the bread, some sailors said it was too hard. The officer would have none of that.

“If C...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The local synagogue is having their annual raffle...

A man walks to the stage and begins to announce the winners.

"4th prize goes to Moshe Goldstein, who wins a Rolls Royce!" There is huge applause. Moshe goes up to collect his keys and shake hands.

"3rd prize, which goes to Shmuel Cohen, is a Rolls Royce and a check for $10,000!" Agai...

Police are reporting that they have just located a truck of stollen goods

Though they are not hopeful that anyone will come forward to claim the German fruitcake.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I hate school and got caught skipping the other day...

My principal said, "Walk normal next time, you fruitcake."

Cake walks into a bar and orders a drink.

After a while he notices everyone's been staring at him since he walked in the door. He asks the barman, "what's everyone's problem?"

The barman says, "If I were you I'd get the hell out if here... Looks to me like everyone wants a piece of you!"

"That's nothing mate", replies the cake...

Online dating is like a bakery

You've got the flakes, the fruitcakes, and the tarts.

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